Old Endings, New Beginnings
by byrhthelm
Summary: An emotionally battered Harm returns to his old stamping grounds after his tour in the UK. Warning: Refers to a major character death.
1. Chapter 1

**Old Endings, New Beginnings**

**1620 EST  
Friday May 27 2011  
Pennsylvania Avenue and Fourteenth Street  
Washington DC**

She was bored, and hot and uncomfortable, and although the cab's air conditioning was on she could feel the damp heat growing beneath her thighs as her body heat burnt through her skirt and interacted with the cheap plastic seating in the cab. Now they were stuck in traffic on Pennsylvania because as far as she could see, Fourteenth Street up ahead was solid and the whole areas seemed destined for gridlock. Idly, in the hope of alleviating her boredom she glanced out of the side window of the cab. The cab was halted just outside the Willard, so she amused herself for a few seconds watching people entering and exiting the famous hotel, until just as she was becoming tired of her occupation her breath caught in her throat.

It couldn't be! Not him, not here! But it was! That tall figure would have been unmistakeable in any attire, but in Summer Whites and with the four rings of a Captain on his shoulder boards, it couldn't be anyone else! But he was supposed to be in England – wasn't he?

She could still hear the JAG – the last JAG – General Cresswell's voice, "I hope you like Yorkshire Pudding." She shook her head it had seemed almost innocuous at the time, but in retrospect she had come to think that she had heard more than just a touch of malice in his voice. Certainly he had seemed smug enough at the time, and then after the coin toss when Colonel MacKenzie had announced her resignation and her intention to marry the now Captain, the General's "Outstanding!" had seemed forced, and she had thought she had imagined it, but the way he treated both them afterwards convinced her that he had not been at all pleased, the expression that had flitted across his face had been anything but pleasant.

So he should still have been in London, if it was him! And it was! As he reached the top of the steps to the hotel's main entrance he stopped and turned, and looked across the street, his head and eyes carrying out a slow sweep of the area, almost as if he could feel her eyes on him, and wanted to see just who was taking an interest in him.

She sank back into her seat although she knew it was unlikely he could see her and as she did so she could feel her heart pounding. The last person she had anticipated seeing in DC was Captain Harmon Rabb.

Harmon Rabb, with whom she had shared both pleasure and pain, with whom she had shared the joy-filled guardianship of Mattie Grace, and with whom she wept when after her crash Mattie had slipped silently away without ever waking from her coma, and for whom she had shed further tears when in January last year the Navy Times had solemnly reported the death of Mac and their unborn child.

She had, of course, written to him offering her condolences but had received no reply, and multiple attempts at 'phone calls had either been unanswered, or intercepted by his Yeoman who had obviously been briefed to refuse to accept personal calls. Even Harriet Sims and her husband Bud Roberts had given up trying to reach him. She knew what he'd done of course; he had done what he always did when overwhelmed by his emotions, he had retreated and erected his defences, trying to shield himself from further hurt. Suddenly she was angry. Angry at him. Who the fuck did he think he was? Did he think that he was somehow special, that his grief was so special that it couldn't be shared? She had loved Mattie as much as he had, and she had liked and respected Mac and she too had felt her loss, as had Bud, and poor Harriet had literally wept for weeks, to the point of making herself ill, and yet that selfish egotistical, arrogant… jet-jockey… had turned his back on all of them!

Ignoring a quiet inner voice that warned her she was making a mistake, she slid the panel between her and the driver open and thrusting a fifty through it, she said, "Let me out here, please!"

The cabbie looked up into his mirror and saw the bill being thrust at him, "Yes, ma'am!" he replied and pulled over to the side.

"Here, take it, and keep the change!" she flung back over her shoulder as she almost tumbled out of the cab, straightening her own Summer Whites and squaring her shoulders. Placing her cover squarely on her head she threaded her way through the stalled traffic and marched determinedly up the steps to the Willard's main doors.

It was cool and dark in the hotel lobby after the heat and glare of the late May mid-afternoon and she could feel the chill of the damp patches on the back of her thighs, under her arms and between her breasts as she crossed the marble floor to the receptionists' desk.

"How may I help you, ma'am?" asked the blonde, and to her eyes, absurdly young woman behind the desk.

"Good afternoon," she replied civilly, "I'm looking for a naval officer who just came in, a Captain Rabb, is he staying here?

"One moment, please…." The young desk clerk checked her VDU, "Yes, he is, but I can't give you…"

"No, that's alright. If he is in his room could you call him and tell him that there's a Lieutenant Philips to see him?"

"Certainly, ma'am." The call was made, and then replacing the telephone in its cradle the reception desk clerk smiled and said, "He says to go on up, he's in eleven thirty two. The elevators are…"

"Yes. I see them. Thank you."

The elevators in the Willard had the reputation of being the fastest and smoothest elevators in the whole of DC, but today it seemed that the ride up to the eleventh floor was as slow and as jerky as the unreliable old freight elevator that had been at the old converted warehouse a couple of blocks north of union station where the three of them had shared the two third floor apartments. And even the short, but long seeming, ride she could feel her anger ebbing and had to concentrate on his past behaviour that had at one time nearly broken her heart.

At last the eleventh floor. The doors hissed open and she stepped out into the hall her eyes looking left and right, searching for some indication as to which way the door numbers ran, at length she decided to turn to her left, and with odd numbers to her right and even numbers to her left she found herself only a few doors from his room.

Stopping in front of eleven thirty two she drew a deep breath and rapped smartly, twice, on the door. The door opened and he stood framed by the doorway, almost exactly as she remembered him, tall, aqua-marine eyes deep set under dark brows and dark hair, now showing silver pigeon's wings at the temples.

"Lieutenant?" he said questioningly, peering at the shadowed figure standing before him.

"Sir! You bastard!" she snapped at him.

He took a step back, surprised at the unexpected verbal assault, and then his face clouded and in a voice of cold anger he snapped, "Stand down, Lieutenant! Who the hell do you think you are…?"

"Just what I was about to ask you!" She paused deliberately, "Sir!"

The cold anger was still on his face and his body language screamed outrage, but the apparent non-sequitur of her answer, or maybe something in her voice gave him pause.

He peered at her more closely, "Do I know… ?"

"Yeah, that would be about right!" and the cold contempt in her voice flayed him, "So, you did forget your friends, you bastard!"

He hesitated a moment more and then with dawning recognition he asked in a tight controlled voice, "Jen…? Jen… Coates?"

"I used to be!" She snapped.

Still stunned by her attack and the unexpected revelation of her identity, he stepped back from the door, "I… I… I was expecting a… a… Lieutenant Phil… uh Philips", he stammered.

Jen nodded once, "That would be me… sir!"

"You… uh… you better come in…" he said somewhat lamely, turning away from the door.

Jen stepped in through the doorway and as a reflex put her cover and purse on the side table just inside the door. Her host turned to a cabinet standing against the wall next to the bed and she could hear the 'chink' of glass against glass.

"Can I fix you a drink?" he asked.

"No, thank you," Jen replied, beginning to wonder why she had come here.

"Well, considering your already stated opinion of me, I'm sure you won't mind if I have one?" he said with a hint of a sneer in his voice as he turned back towards her, a shot glass, two-thirds full of an amber liquid clutched in his hand.

Jen looked at him more carefully, he was still as handsome as he ever was, well nearly so; but there was a puffiness around his eyes, and the eyes themselves showed signs of being bloodshot. He stood steady enough and his words were clear with no slurring, but there was something…

"How many of those have you had?" Jen demanded.

"These?" he held the glass up to the window, seemingly mesmerised by the light shining through it, "Oh… now… let me see… this… this… this will be my… third. Yes, my third!" he ended triumphantly as if pleased he could remember how many drinks he'd had. Then he frowned, "But that Lieutenant is by the bye! What the hell do you mean by hammering on my door and then calling me a bastard when I open it! That is gross insubordination and showing disrespect to a superior commissioned officer, and by rights I should charge you!" He drained the glass and seemed to shudder for a second before turning back to the drinks cabinet.

Jen gasped silently, and sneaked a horrified glance at her watch. By her reckoning that last drink had only been poured less than two minutes ago. And that was so not like the Harmon Rabb she remembered.

"Don't you think you've had enough, sir?" she asked cautiously, "it is still early…"

Harm appeared to give the question serious consideration, "Nope, not enough yet!" he declared with a hint of his trademark grin showing.

Jen was now appalled and scared for her one time superior officer, and… yes… and friend, and in desperation cried out "Sir! What would the Colonel say?" and then bit her knuckles in dread-filled anticipation of his reaction, once again she had let her too-ready tongue run away with her.

Harmon Rabb stared at her and the deliberately and slowly he raised the glass and drained it. Lowering the glass he looked at her his expression grimly desolate as he said simply, "But she's not here to see it, Jen. She left me, Jen, they left me, they left me alone…" and then to Jen's horror the tears ran down his face.

At first he didn't sob he just wept and then swayed slightly on his feet as if the alcohol he'd consumed had finally taken its effect on him, and then after a minute with a heart-rending cry, he began to sob, great, deep chested, racking sobs that sounded as if he was being torn apart.

Jen put her anger, fear and doubts behind her. In front of her was a friend in need, a friend in pain, deep, soul-searing pain. In an instant she was across the room and her arms were around him, leading him to the bed where she sat them both down and cradled his head against her breast as he cried for his lost love and their child.

Harm sobbed long and bitterly, thoroughly soaking the front of Jen's uniform blouse as she held him, soothed his hair and murmured almost motherly words of comfort. From time to time it seemed as if he might stop, but after taking in a great gulp of air the awful sobs would re-start as he clung to her with all the desperation of a drowning man clutching at a straw. At last she it seemed that his tears had ceased and she murmured his name, "Harm?" but received no answer or acknowledgement.

In mounting disbelief she realised that he had cried himself to sleep and she also became aware that her back ached from supporting his weight against her while she was unsupported and further that it was now dark outside. In surprise she looked at her watch, it was nearly nine in the evening

"Harm?" she murmured again, but again received no reply. Easing him off her breast she gently laid him down on the bed and unlacing his shoes she gently tugged them off his feet, and drew the comforter over him.

She collected her cover and purse from the table and moved towards the door, but caught a glimpse of herself in the full length mirror as she did so. She stopped; she couldn't possibly go out in public in the state she was in. Her blouse sported a huge, damp, and faintly discoloured stain practically all the way from her shoulder to her waist and both it and her skirt were horribly rumpled. No, she could never take the metro in her present condition, and the chances of getting a cab at this time on a Friday night were zero. Dammit! She was stuck!

Or maybe not… retreating to the luxuriously appointed bathroom she fished her cell 'phone out of her purse and punched in the number for Andrea Jackson, her room-mate at the hospital's BOQ. After four rings her friend answered, "_Hi, Andrea here…_"

"Andi, hi, it's Jen. Listen, I need a favour… I'm stuck in a dirty uniform at the Willard. Can you get me a change of clothing from my closet and bring it to me. I'll pay you back for the gas. My red sweater and tan pants would be great…"

"_Oh, Jen, hun… I'm sorry; I'm not at the hospital… I'm halfway to Freds'burg. I told you, it's Marty's birthday party tomorrow…_" The apologetic note in Andi's voice changed to one of curiosity, "_Jen… what are you doing in the Willard… and in a soiled uniform… have you gotten lucky… And who's the luckier guy?_"

For some reason Jen felt the blood rise to her cheeks, "No… it's nothing like that!" she half-snapped.

"_Oooh_!" came the frankly disbelieving reply.

Jen sighed, and despite herself found that she was grinning, "Andi, you're incorrigible! No, seriously, it is nothing like that, but it is a long, long story and if you're sober enough when you get back from your brother's birthday, I'll tell you all about it!"

"_I'm holding you to that, Jen_!" her friend warned her.

"Yeah, I said _if_ you were sober! Go on, enjoy yourself have fun, and take it easy on the men down there!"

"_Jen, honey, they ain't gonna know what hit 'em!_" and with another burst of laughter Andi clicked off her 'phone.

Her spirits lifted by the brief conversation, Jen considered her position. There was still no way she could be seen in public in her uniform's present stet. So she was stranded after all.

Quietly walking through into the bedroom she saw that Harm was sleeping peacefully, his emotional storm, helped no doubt by the alcohol he had consumed, she thought caustically, had dropped him into a deep pit of slumber. Still, no sense in making unnecessary noise that might disturb him. But what the hell was she going to do. Even if she could manage to get to sleep in one of the armchairs, she couldn't sleep in what was left of her uniform, that would only be making matters worse… she needed something comfortable… and a grin of remembered larcenies crept over her face.

Crossing to the chest of drawers she silently slid open a couple of the drawers and smiled in satisfaction. She snagged a pair of items from the depths of the drawers and stealthily retreated to the bathroom, casting a wary eye on the sleeping Captain as she did so. Once safely in the bathroom she quickly stripped off her uniform blouse, skirt and panty-hose and stepped into the clean boxers she had taken and then unclasping her bra and putting it to one side, and with a fond smile of remembrance she donned the old faded, blue 'Raptors' squadron sweat shirt she had 'borrowed' so many times in the past.

Carefully rolling her uniform, she tucked it into the laundry bag hanging on the back of the bathroom door, she quietly walked back through into the bedroom and called housekeeping. OK, the bill for cleaning and pressing her uniform would go on Harm's room bill, but, she figured, that was the least he could do for her, and if he kicked off about it, well… she probably had sufficient cash left in her purse to pay that part of the bill.

Looking around the room, she hesitated. There was plenty of space left on the bed, but… and another thing, she checked the room again, this time looking for a trash can, and as she'd expected, it was next to the desk and even better, it was lined with a disposable plastic bag. Crossing the carpeted floor on silent feet she placed it alongside the bed, fervently hoping that the sleeping sailor wouldn't need it…"but better safe than sorry!" she told herself.

However… that had only postponed the decision she had to make. Although it wasn't a cold night, - May nights in Washington very rarely were – the Willard's efficient air-conditioning made the prospect of sleeping without covers an unappealing prospect. Shaking her head she crossed the room again to the closet, and opening the door nodded to herself in satisfaction; as she she'd hoped extra blankets were neatly folded and stacked on the top shelf. Jen turned off the main room lights, leaving only the lamp on the nightstand to illuminate the room and marvelling at their softness, a far cry from the coarse navy-issue bedding to which she was accustomed, wrapped herself in a couple of the blankets and lay back in one of the armchairs and composed herself for sleep.

**0620 EST  
Saturday May 28 2011  
Room 1132  
The Willard Hotel  
Washington DC**

Jen awoke to a once-familiar but now almost forgotten feeling, that of a warm body pressed against her back, a heavy forearm draped across her rib-cage and a large hand gently cupping her breast. Luxuriating in the sensations she felt her nipples harden and pushed her six back against the body behind her, and was surprised not to feel her husband's erection throbbing against her butt-cheeks.

Wait a minute! Husband!? She didn't have a husband anymore! What the fuck!? In a paroxysm of fear she twisted free of the arm that was no longer a reassuring comfort, but an object of terror, and sat upright in bed trembling with an adrenalin surge, and holding the comforter up under her chin.

She looked down at the now partially uncovered man with whom she had unwittingly – unwillingly? – shared the bed. He was, or appeared to be fully dressed, although his summer white shirt would probably never be the same again… and if he was fully dressed… She checked herself... Oh, thank God, so was she… and then as the last remnants of sleep and panic faded away into full consciousness, memory of last night's events returned.

With a sigh of relief she recalled that the man lying next to her was Harmon Rabb, Captain, United States Navy, and however he might have changed in the years since she'd last seen him she knew in her heart of hearts that he was not, and could never become, the type of man who would press unwanted attentions on any woman. Quietly slipping out of bed she crossed to the room door and opening it sighed with relief. There on the door-handle, hung a garment bag and a swift check revealed that it held her freshly laundered and pressed uniform. Carefully laying it across the arm of the chair she saw the two blankets that she had wrapped herself in before going to sleep, and looking back and forth between chair and bed, a frown creased her forehead. She had definitely settled down in the chair to go to sleep… so how the hell had she ended up sharing a bed with Harmon Rabb?

Not, she reminded herself with wry grin, that in years gone by she hadn't fantasised about that same event, and her fantasies had had a damn sight better… well, different, anyway… ending than her leaping out of bed in alarm. In fact some of them had been quite romantic. Oh, hell, girl. Tell the truth and shame the devil – some of those dreams had been the most vividly erotic that she'd ever had! But they were dreams, this… this was reality. So… just how _had _she ended up sharing that bed?

Taking her uniform in one hand, she pause d on her way to the bathroom, to look more closely at Harm. To all appearances, and although it was getting late in the day by naval standards, he was still asleep, Just as well, Jen thought, he'd not only looked like he needed to sleep, but while he was asleep he was also, albeit unconsciously – she grinned at the unintentional pun – granting her a degree of privacy, of which she was determined to take advantage.

Making sure she locked the bathroom door behind her, she turned on the shower and checked the contents of the bathroom. Yes, there was a hair dryer – permanently wired into the wall so that light-fingered guests couldn't 'accidentally' pack it when they checked out, and yes, thank God, there was a selection of shower gels and shampoos in the cane basket on top of the vanity. Spreading the contents of the basket out on top of the vanity, she considered her choice as she unpinned the French braid in which she wore her hair while on duty and shook it loose, allowing it to drop in a glorious, shining fall almost to the small of her back.

Ten minutes later enveloped in the aroma of vanilla and almonds, she stepped out of the shower and taking advantage of the huge, fluffy, white Willard Hotel bath sheets, patted herself dry and then wrapping a second towel around her body she took he hairbrush from her purse picked up the hair dryer and started to dry her hair.

She wasn't too sure how long she'd been engaged in this exercise, when she became aware of a thunderous hammering on the bathroom door. After a moment's pause she realised what the probable cause of the disturbance was grinned mischievously, and switching off the hair-dryer and composing her expression into one of innocent inquiry, she crossed to the door, and opening it, she asked innocently "Yes? Is there a… eeek!"

Her words were interrupted by a squeak of alarm, as Harm bundled past her into the bathroom, and urgently but not ungently turned and pushed her out into the bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind him.

Jen sat on the bed, carefully making sure that the towel, her only garment, was still secure and then hearing a deep sigh of relief followed by the sound of rushing water coming from behind the closed bathroom door she couldn't resist a mischievous chuckle. As the bathroom sounds ceased, she carefully re-arranged her expression once more, this time into one of angry impatience and stood silently tapping one bare foot on the carpet as the door opened and a somewhat shame-faced Harm entered the bedroom with a mumbled, "Sorry. Emergency."

Jen gave a haughty sniff, and swept majestically past him once more emphatically closing and locking the door behind her. Taking her seat in front of the vanity she switched on the hair-dryer and picked up her brush, pulling it in long, smooth strokes through her hair as she let the stream of warm air dry the moisture from it while she turned her mind to the question of how she was going to face Harm, and what she was going to say to him

At length, her hair dry, she, with the ease of long practice re-braided it and pinned it into place, then she carefully applied the minute amount of make-up she customarily used, before with a grimace of distaste she discarded her towel and stepped into her panties and panty-hose and then shrugged into her bra before donning her uniform. Now, after a final check of her appearance in the mirror she gave a nod of satisfaction and drawing a deep breath she unlocked the bathroom door and stepped through the doorway into the bedroom.

Harm was sitting on the bed, wrapped in a bathrobe. He stood as she entered the room and taking note of her appearance, he bit his bottom lip, averted his eyes and said, "Jen I need to take a shower, and then we really need to talk, so please don't go before I'm finished in the… the bathroom."

"Harm… sir… It's better that I do go… I think," Jen replied, thinking 'God, look at him! He can't even bear to look at me!'

'I've disgusted her so much, she can't even stand being in the same room with me!' He thought, but mustered a weak half-grin and managed to say, "I've ordered a room service breakfast for us both… please, Jen?"

As he spoke, he finally raised his eyes to hers and there was something in them that made Jen not only catch her breath, but think furiously for a few seconds, and as she thought she looked into Harm's eyes seeing doubt, desperation and even fear growing in them. At last she made up her mind, she wasn't on duty or on call today, and all she had to look forward to was some grocery shopping and the empty room at the BOQ to which she would return.

"Very well," she replied coolly, sitting primly in the chair she had gone to sleep in last night, noting that Harm had picked up the blankets, neatly folded them and placed them across the foot of the bed.

Harm nodded gravely, "Thank you." He paused before he added, "My wallet is in the drawer of the nightstand, so if breakfast arrives before I've finished, take a twenty from it and tip the waiter, please."

Jen nodded and watched as Harm turned and left the bedroom closing the bathroom door behind him.

He returned to the bedroom about fifteen minutes later, still wrapped in his bathrobe, his eyes going straight to Jen, a smile of pleasure and relief on his face as he realised she was still there . He crossed to the closet and took a pair of jogging pants from the shelf, and then turned to the chest of drawers. With his back to Jen and still wearing the bathrobe, he stepped into his boxers and then the jogging pants before slipping the robe off his shoulders and diving into a t-shirt.

It wasn't the first time that Jen had seen Harm without a shirt; there had been occasions when they had shared the loft apartments when she had caught him bare-chested, and had then been impressed with what she had seen (and what she had seen had fuelled her erotic fantasies for months) and now she cast an appraising eye over him. He was slightly thicker through the waist than he had been before his PCS to London, but the muscles on his back still rippled effortlessly under his skin as he pulled the t-shirt down and the arms that were doing the pulling still looked as firm and as strong as they ever had…

But before Jen's thoughts took her over completely, they were interrupted by a knock at the door and a cheerful hail of, "Room Service!"

Harm crossed to the nightstand and retrieved his wallet before opening the door for the waiter who pushed his laden cart into the room. "On the table, please," Harm directed and he stood in silence as Jen, equally silently sat and waited for the breakfast to be arranged on the table.

With the table set, Harm discreetly tipped the waiter and as he left the room, he drew one of the chairs back from the table and said invitingly, "Jen?"

Jen moved to the table and allowed Harm to seat her. He moved around to the other side of the table and took his own seat before removing the cloches from the plates.

"Scrambled eggs with smoked salmon," he informed her, "I hope that's OK? I remember you used to like eggs for breakfast… but I can order something else if… if…" his voice trailed off as he stumbled to a halt, uncertain of how to proceed.

"Yes, thank you, sir. That's fine…" Jen saw the uncertainty in his eyes and smiled reassuringly, "Honestly, sir. It's fine… I do still like scrambled eggs, and I do like smoked salmon – not that I can afford it very often – it's just that I'd never thought of combining the two…"

Harm tried a grin, "It's a habit I picked up in England… it's a popular breakfast dish in good hotels… As is the toast and marmalade!" he indicated another cloche, "And of course there's OJ and coffee… you still take it with creamer and sweetener? And I'm babbling now, aren't I, so I'll just shut up now, shall I?"

"No… don't shut up, sir," Jen told him gravely, "I think we do need to talk… about last night, if nothing else," she added hastily as she saw his eyes harden. She could almost see his defensive walls going up too. "But before we talk about anything else, I know went to sleep in that chair last night. So how the hell did I end up sharing a bed with you?" she challenged him.

Harm shrugged and looked her with a puzzled frown on his forehead, "I don't know Jen… I don't even know how I got to bed…"

"That was easy, I pulled your shoes off and threw the comforter over you… but that's not the point, so stop dropping chaff! I want to know how I got from the chair to the bed and ended up waking up being spooned by you and with your hand on my…" Jen's brain caught up with her mouth at that point and she blushed fire-appliance red.

Harm shook his head, "All I know is I fell asleep at some stage last night… the last thing I remember is you holding me, and I woke up this morning alone and heard you in the bathroom…"

"You didn't carry me from the chair to the bed?" Jen challenged him again.

"No! I would never do that! I thought you knew me better than that!" he protested.

"So did I!" Jen retorted, "but the Harmon Rabb I knew would never turn his back on his friends nor would he turn into a lush!"

"It's… it's not… It wasn't like that Jen!" Harm stammered.

"No?" Jen's voice was icy, "Just how was it then!?"


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

**0620 EST  
Saturday May 28 2011  
Room 1132  
The Willard Hotel  
Washington DC**

Harm looked away from Jen, unable to meet the accusation in her hot brown eyes, "This… this isn't easy for me Jen…"

"Good!" Jen snapped, "Because if it was easy for you, I'd be even more pissed at you than I am already!"

Harm turned his gaze back on her, and pushed his half-eaten breakfast to one side, "No… it's not easy Jen… It's never been easy, and I doubt it ever will be easy…"

Jen heard the sincerity in his voice and saw it and too-well remembered pain reflected in his eyes, and she flashed back to those awful gut-wrenching sobs he had let out as she held him in her arms. "No… I don't suppose it is, was or ever will be…" she agreed in much gentler tones.

Harm nodded his thanks, "I don't really know where to start…"

"The beginning's always reckoned to be a good place," Jen suggested softly.

"That's the problem, Jen, where and when was the beginning? The Rose Garden or Red Rock Mesa, or the Watertown, or in Russia… I just don't know any more where Mac…" he gulped, swallowing down his emotions at the sound of her name, "and I really began… but after the whole Singer and Paraguay cluster fucks we seemed to be the furthest apart we'd ever been. "

Jen silently shook her head; in Jen's opinion Mac had been a real bitch towards Harm at that stage in their relationship.

"Then Mac got ill. Did you know that?" Jen shook her head, "She told me at A J's Dining Out, and then she ran her car off the road that Christmas, just about a year before… before… Mattie, and for a while we seemed to be getting closer… until Mattie's… accident, and then she seemed to take a step back… Jen, did I ever tell you just how much your support meant to me then?"

Jen just shook her head, her own memories of Mattie's last days threatening to overwhelm her again.

"And Mac… Mac seemed to pull away from me again, and for a short time it seemed that she was about to start some sort of relationship with Vokovic, or whatever his damned name was. And then Cresswell dropped the bomb and posted us at stupidly short notice a half a world away from each other. And the rest you know… Well up until the time we left for the UK, anyway."

Harm paused and poured them both a fresh cup of coffee, but while Jen picked hers up, he left his sitting on the table as he gazed with unseeing eyes across the room and out of the window as he began the hardest part of his story.

"We were happy in the UK for a while… Mac was a saint, putting up with my feelings about Mattie, coping with the move, her reserving her commission, setting up a new home, learning to drive on the wrong side of the road… she even got a part time job teaching pre-law at the American School… did you know that?"

Jen nodded, "Yes, we all knew. I think you called and e-mailed anyone who had ever known Mac when she got that job."

"I was so proud of her Jen; she took to teaching like a duck to water. And it was great; we had a good life until her illness flared up again. Mac's" he stopped, fished a handkerchief out of his pants pocket and blew his nose before continuing in a choked voice, "Mac's illness was endometriosis, you know what that is?" Jen nodded.

"Well the OB gave her less than a five per cent chance of ever conceiving and warned us that if Mac did conceive the pregnancy would be difficult, painful and possibly dangerous for mother and baby alike. We both wanted children… or at least one child… I'd hoped for a boy to carry on the name… but a healthy baby of either sex would have been the greatest gift we would ever have hoped for. Then September before last, Mac told me she was pregnant. Oh, Jen… we… we were so, so happy… But the medicos were right, the pregnancy was hard on Mac, she started bleeding early on, and by her fourth month she was having contractions…"

Jen gasped and put her hand over her mouth as Harm continued speaking in a flat monotone, as if, Jen thought, the only way he could get through this was by divorcing himself from his emotions.

"So she was put on bed rest and pumped full of drugs to stop her going into premature labour. They were trying to get her to thirty six weeks…but… at twenty five weeks her uterus ruptured… she bled out in less than ten minutes… there was nothing the doctors could do… by the time they figured out what had happened it was just too late for Mac and too early for the baby… it would have been a girl," he ended on such a note of loss that Jen not only felt her eyes flood but was temporarily paralysed not only by the sheer horror of Harm's story but the emotionless tone in which he spoke, and was obviously the only way he could handle rehearsing the tragedy.

Jen swallowed hard, twice, before she could find her voice, and when she did, the last traces of anger had vanished, "Harm, that's… so… so horrible… but your friends would have tried to help you through your pain…"

"No! No-one could have helped then!" Harm snapped, springing to his feet and starting to pace the room. His eye fell on the drinks cabinet and he crossed towards it.

Jen saw his intent and protested, "Harm! For God's sake no! It's not even nine in the morning yet!"

Harm stopped, his eyes going to his visitor as she sat in her dining chair, her face almost as white as her uniform.

"You're right, of course." Harm admitted as he turned back to the table, grimacing as he took a mouthful of his now cold coffee. "I've been spending altogether too much time looking for the answer at the bottom of a bottle." He laughed harshly, "And I was the one who despised people who tried to find their answers in a bottle!"

"People like Mac?" Jen challenged him quietly.

"No… No… Jen, how could you say such a thing?" Harm demanded his temper beginning to rise, "Mac had her demons mostly beaten… in all the years I knew her, she only slipped off the wagon once, and that was the night she had a boyfriend die in her arms… No, Mac was one of the strongest people I ever knew in that respect…"

Jen nodded in acknowledgement of his protest and then asked a seeming non sequitur, "What happened then, Harm?"

"I told you… I just told you…" his expression clearly showing that Jen's question had him totally baffled

"No, what happened to you, after Mac died?" Jen persisted gently.

"I… I carried on… I had a job to do… it was a demanding job Jen… and it took me away from our house for a few blessed hours each day, At home… in the house… there were constant reminders of Mac and the baby… her clothes in the closet… her shampoos and shower gels in the bathroom… and the... the… the nursery… half done…and… and… all our photographs… the ones Bud took when we announced our engagement... Mac and I at little A J's christening… the one you said you always liked…"

Jen nodded again, it had been a beautiful picture taken at one of the times when Harm and Mac's relationship had been going through one of its periodic upswings, but in view of the events that had so tragically overtaken the Rabb household, she could understand that it might not have remained one of Harm's favourite images.

"No… what really happened, Harm? How could you… why did you cut yourself off from everyone who loved you?"

Harm sat in the armchair Jen had tried to sleep in, and she was forced to turn sideways in her chair to watch him while he answered. Harm ran his fingers through his hair in a gesture that Jen remembered well from the loft days, and waited for him to come up with an answer.

"To… protect everybody… including myself." He said at length.

"How do you mean?"

"I've turned into an Angel of Death, Jen." He said bitterly, "Almost everybody I've told that I love them, or got close to them, has died… Dad… Mace… Diane… Luke… Jordan… Mattie… Grams… Mac… even Loren Singer…" The names rolled off his tongue almost as if he was reading aloud a roll of honour.

"Oh Harm!" Jen's words were torn from her in a gasp, "Not your grandmother too!"

Harm just nodded numbly and then sighed, "The second fall we were in England… she just went to sleep one night… and…" he took in a great heaving breath of air, once again fighting his emotions.

"I'm so sorry, Harm, I know you loved her so much…"

"Yeah, I did… and I loved Bud and Harriet and all the rest of the JAG gang, that's why I had to cut myself from you all… I had to stop them, stop you all from becoming victims of the Rabb curse… and I had to protect myself too… I couldn't stand to have anyone else I care about die… I just couldn't face the pain any more…"

"And that's why you stopped answering letters and taking 'phone calls?" Jen gasped incredulously.

Harm shrugged helplessly, "I couldn't think of any other way to protect everybody from me… and to protect me from more loss… Jen, I know it sounds weak, and cowardly and selfish but after Mac and the baby… I just… I just… couldn't take any more!"

"You were right Harm. It does sound, weak, cowardly and selfish! And the reason it sounds like that is because it's just that! It hurt me when you stopped answering my letters and calls, especially when I really needed the friend I thought you were! And poor Harriet, she really loved Mac, you know?"

"Yes, I do…"

Jen was on her feet now, her eyes flashing as she vented her anger and grief at him, "And she cried when she heard that Mac and the baby had gone, but she cried even more when she couldn't reach you. She cried so much over you that she actually made herself ill! She needed you too! She needed your comfort as much as she needed to comfort you! That was a hell of a way to treat someone who looked on you like a perfect elder brother! And Bud, God knows if he'll ever forgive you! Oh, Harriet will forgive you because that's the way she is! But Bud? I just don't know! Not so much because of the effect you had on Harriett, but because of the effect that Harriet's grief and illness and sense of being abandoned had on little AJ, and Jimmy and the twins! So, yes!" Jen paused for breath, "It was selfish! I'll allow it to be free of malice, but it was pure unthinking selfishness!"

Harm visibly wilted under Jen's onslaught, "I… I didn't… I mean I never realised, I never thought…"

"No, you fucking well didn't, did you?" Jen raged, her anger not yet spent, "You just went and carried on your own merry little unthinking selfish way, like… like a New York Cabbie who says he's never been in an accident in his life, but never thinks to look in his rear-view mirror to see the chaos he's left behind him!"

Harm had been sitting white-faced with shock as Jen's tirade continued and as she stopped to draw breath he held up a visibly shaking hand to stop her, "You're right Jen… I was being weak and cowardly and selfish and all those other things… and part of the reason I'm here is to try and fix what I've broken… but I've been here a week now, and Jen, I don't know how to fix this!"

"Have you been in touch with Bud or Harriet or anybody else you might know from JAG?" Jen demanded tersely, "Or Chloe? She must have been devastated when Mac died!"

Harm just shook his head dispiritedly, his eyes fixed on the carpet, "I just told you, Jen. I don't know how to fix this!"

The despairing quality of Harm's voice prevented Jen from renewing her verbal assault, and instead she picked up on his previous statement, "You say part of the reason is to make amends, what's the other part of the reason you're here?" she demanded.

"I've been recalled, Jen. I've lost my flight status… not that that matters, when the Tomcats went, that was the end of my days flying for the Navy… I was too old to make it economically viable to cross train me for the Hornet. But it seems that my work habits caused some concern at the Navy Yard, and Admiral Tucker, the new JAG – you'd heard?" Jen nodded, the appointment of the first female JAG, especially when the appointment was uprated from two to three stars had been big news throughout the naval community.

"Well, she's relieved me of my command and ordered me to undergo a full psych evaluation. If I fail that Jen, then the Navy's done with me, and I'll be on the beach."

"What will you do then, Harm, if you're discharged?"

"Not sure… maybe go on up to Belleville, Grams left me the farm. I'm still a pretty good lawyer, so I guess I'll hang out my shingle, and I'll rent the pasture out and with the money from that plus my pension and whatever I might earn doing some country lawyering, I'll be pretty comfortable."

"It sounds like you're expecting to lose, that's not like you."

"Not expecting to lose, Jen. Just sticking to the old fighter pilot's mantra, prepare for the worst but hope for the best."

They sat in silence for a while, each digesting what had been said and considering their own words, until Harm broke the silence, "Would you like a coffee?"

"Yes, thank you," Jen responded politely.

"Well it looks like it's going to be a pretty hot day again, but it's still early enough for it not to be unbearable. I generally take a walk either morning or evening, and there's a Starbucks on the corner of Franklin Park, that's just a half-dozen blocks north of here on Fourteenth Street…" Harm let the suggestion trail off as he saw Jen's face becoming closed.

"I don't know Harm… "Jen demurred, "I'm hardly dressed for a stroll around Washington… and I really need to get back to Bethesda."

Harm had seen the oak-leaf and acorn on Jen's shoulder boards but he had so far reined in his no more than idle curiosity. "Come on, Jen walk with me, please, there's a metro station just across the street from Starbuck's, and while we're walking and drinking coffee, you can tell me how come you exchanged a Legalman's rate and rating for an acorn and oak-leaf!"

Jen didn't really want to leave Harm, she half feared that if she did, he'd change hotels and then she'd never see him again, and there was still so much that she wanted to know about the missing years. So, after giving the matter some thought she sighed and said, "OK… I'll walk with you, and one cup of coffee, but then I really need to get back to Bethesda and get out of this rig! Oh!" Jen blushed, "I'm sorry, I should have asked, but you were so completely out of it last night, but it was you that made a mess of my uniform, so I had to send it to the hotel laundry on your dime. I'll pay you back of course, just let me know how much!"

"I won't be billing you, Jen," Harm said as he pressed the button to call the elevator, "As you said, it was me that made the mess!"

Jen blushed again and murmured a quiet "Thanks," as she stepped into the elevator.

**0956 EST  
Saturday May 28 2011  
Starbuck's Coffee House  
Franklin Square  
Washington DC**

Although it was still comparatively early and Harm and Jen had taken the precaution of walking up the shady side of Fourteenth Street, they were both heartily glad to step through the doorway into the air-conditioned comfort of Starbucks.

"Grab somewhere for us to sit, Jen, I'll get the coffee's," Harm offered, and with a grateful smile, Jen turned to do as he'd suggested.

Harm joined her within a few minutes with not just the coffees but a couple of Danish pastries, "I hope you've still got your sweet tooth, Jen!" Harm said gravely.

"Oh, I do… but it takes me a little more effort to burn off empty calories these days than it used to!" Jen protested with a chuckle, and then seeing Harm's eyebrows begin to draw together in a frown, she added "But seeing as how you bought one specially or me, and I know you'll never eat two of 'em, I'll make a special effort to eat mine!"

Harm managed a half smile of his own as he raised his coffee cup, "How old are you now Jen?"

Jen chuckled again, "Still just as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth!" she retorted, giving him the same answer she had when he'd asked, repeatedly, in the past.

Jen saw him shake his head in resignation and then relented, "I shall be thirty-four, next birthday," she informed him.

"And that's in November, right?"

"You remembered!" she gasped in surprise.

"Of course I did! How could I forget that you and Mattie, two of my favourite girls, have their birthdays within a week of each other?" Harm tried to smile, but Jen could still see the pain of Mattie's loss in his eyes.

"No, of course you wouldn't," Jen replied in a subdued voice, and then took a breath before continuing in the same tone. "I still miss her too, Harm."

"I'm sure you do… after all, with the way things went crazy back then, you ended up spending as much time as her guardian as I did, if not more! And I meant what I said when you stepped up to the plate so many times for us, I didn't know what I would have done without you!"

Jen's face split in a grin, "Oh God, do you remember the Dragon Lady? Mattie's English teacher? That woman terrified me!"

Harm nodded, the ghost of his old smile – his flyboy smile as Mac had called it – appearing for a fraction of a second, "Oh yes, I remember her. She scared me too!"

Jen chuckled and sat back, taking a sip of her coffee as she considered how quickly she and the man sitting opposite her were slipping back into their old easy habits of conversation, and this time, now they were both officers there was none of the constraints that the commissioned-enlisted gap had imposed on them in years past.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a hand waved slowly in front of her face and Harm's voice calling her, "Planet Earth to Jen, come in please Jen!"

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Jen blushed and put down her coffee cup, realising that it was now only half-full. "You were saying?"

"Well, I was asking how Legalman One Coates, Jennifer, A, metamorphosed into Lieutenant Jennifer A Philips, USN Medical Corps?"

"Oh… after you and Mac left, I withdrew my application to PCS to San Diego… and it's just as well I did, I think… I heard that Commander Sturgis really struggled with being the CO."

Harm gave a crack of sardonic laughter, "Ha! After his stint as JAG pro-tem, I could have told 'em that! Hell, anybody with more than two brain cells could have told 'em that!"

Jen gave him a disapproving glare, "Counsel must not editorialise!" she rebuked him.

"I beg your pardon, ma'am. Please continue."

"Well with you gone and Mattie gone, and after that mess with Pia, I didn't feel safe in the apartment anymore, so I moved back into BEQ and I found that I really didn't have much in common with the eighteen and nineteen year olds, most of 'em away from home for the first time, so I buckled down to some serious study and I got my bachelor's degree in the September of that same year. Then it took me another two years to get my Master's degree. So I applied for OCs through the Seaman to Admiral Program and General Cresswell and Admiral Chegwidden both wrote me recommendations, and so I went off to OCS, passed out fifth out of thirty nine and requested Medical Corps. I was assigned to Bethesda – oh, it's called Walter Reed now – and I'm working for my doctorate in behavioural psychology. And that just about covers me."

"Not quite, Jen. It covers your change of designator, and I'm so proud of you, achieving all that you have, but the change of name?

"Oh…" Jen pretended to be busy squaring away the empty coffee cups and the wrappers from the Danish pastries, "That was my misstep. It was my second misstep, actually. I'd missed my chance with one guy, and I suppose there was a feeling that if I wanted to have a real life, that the clock was ticking. So when Andrew proposed, I said yes. I thought I was in love with him, and if things hadn't worked out the way they did, then I guess we coulda been happy."

"What happened, Jen?"

"He was an aviator, a Super Hornet driver, and I guess I thought that the dress whites and gold wings made him a paragon of virtue, after all…" she shot him a quick smile, "I'd spent some time around you, and I thought I had you figured out pretty well. So I guess I made the mistake of assuming that a certain standard of behaviour went with the wings." Jen sighed, "I was wrong. I was working split shifts at Bethesda, and we had a little house a few minutes' drive from the hospital, so I went home, something I usually did, and found him in bed with his RIO. That was it as far as I was concerned. I packed my bags and moved into BOQs and I've been there ever since, the house was rented. I filed for divorce."

"Was he court martialled?" Harm asked.

"No, I cited irreconcilable differences instead of adultery. I didn't give a hoot about his career, but his RIO was a very young woman, not long out of Naval Flight School, and he hadn't told her he was married."

"They should still both have been charged with Conduct Unbecoming and Conduct to the Prejudice!" Harm said sternly.

"I know," Jen admitted, "But I just wanted the whole sordid mess dealt with as quickly and as quietly as possible. We had been talking about having a baby, I was all for it at the time, Andrew was doubtful, but I thought I was talking him round. Thank God I didn't succeed in that!" Jen finished bitterly.

"How long ago was this Jen?" Harm asked casually – too casually Jen thought and her radar switched on.

"I don't think I'll tell you that Harm, if you don't mind. I don't have my law books anymore, but I don't think the statute of limitations has run out in either the adultery or the fraternisation!"

"Am I really that transparent?" Harm asked in surprise.

"Only if somebody has known you for more than ten minutes and has an IQ greater than their shoe size!" Jen quipped.

Harm grinned in amusement and then shook his head in amazement, for months he'd been sunk into a sadness so deep it nearly qualified as clinical depression, yet less than twenty four hours in Jen's company and he was beginning to feel that perhaps life could continue. He failed to consider that last night, under Jen's goading was the first time he had allowed himself to weep for his wife and child.

Jen cast a quick glance at her watch, "Harm, I really do have to go… it's a hell of a journey on the metro from here to Bethesda – I wonder if we'll ever get used to calling it Walter Reed? But would it be alright if I called on you tomorrow I'll be in civvies and more inclined to relax, and I'll have my car then too…so if you wanted, we could take a drive somewhere?"

"Still got the old Escort, Jen?" Harm said teasingly.

"Not on your life!" Jen laughed, a "Subaru Impreza!"

"Nice wheels," Harm conceded, "but they're not American."

"No they're not," Jen admitted, "but the needs of my bank account overruled my patriotic inclinations this time! So what time should I pick you up tomorrow?"

"Come at eight, and I'll treat you to breakfast, maybe this time we could actually eat it instead of yelling at each other!"

"Very well, Captain Rabb," Jen smiled, gathering her cover and purse, "room eleven thirty two at zero eight hundred hours!"

Harm watched her trim figure weave its way through the tables and out of the café door. All at once he decided that perhaps there might be something worth fighting to stay in the Navy for.


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

**0650 hrs EDT  
Sunday, May 29 2011  
Female BOQ  
Walter Reed National Military Medical Centre (WRNMMC)  
Bethesda, MD**

Jen twisted and turned under the hot, stinging jet of water. That was one benefit of living in BOQs she supposed, a constant supply of hot water without having to worry about heating bills. An extra added bonus in this case was the wonderful water pressure. She could almost feel the overnight grime, perspiration and… and… other stuff being blasted off her skin by the sheer force of the water alone!

'Yeah… other stuff! Less than a day in Harm's company and the old dreams are back!' she silently chastised herself; her feelings a mixture of self-deprecating humour and exasperation. 'For God's sake! I'm thirty three years old – not some naïve, innocent teenager! Ha! Not that I ever was really! And I've been married! I have absolutely no business in indulging in dreams of what his hands could with me… to me! Let alone anything else!'

Jen cursed silently as a driblet of soapy water found its way into an eye, and reaching out beyond the shower curtain, hastily grabbed a towel off the rail and dabbed her stinging eye dry. 'That'll teach me to pay attention to what I'm doing instead of drooling over Harmon Rabb!' she told herself fiercely. Then she sighed; she had seen what his large capable hands were capable of when he'd done domestic maintenance around the two apartments, let alone he had refurbished his own apartment from a disused loft into a comfortable bachelor apartment, where, with the exception of the unpredictable elevator everything had been lovingly hand-crafted to as near as perfection as he could manage – and that had been very near indeed!

The trouble was, she'd drifted off to sleep thinking about him and so of course had then dreamed about him. And while she couldn't remember the details of her dreams she did remember that his hands featured largely in them, and then again she did have the evidence on her pj's and the skin of her thighs that they must have intensely erotic!

**0757 hrs EDT  
Sunday, May 29 2011  
Room 1132  
The Willard Hotel  
Washington, DC**

Jen had her hand raised to knock on the door when Harm opened it. He grinned at her pose, her hand stopped in mid-air, and the expression on her face. "I… uh… was listening for you… uh… I was afraid you wouldn't come…"

Jen stepped into the room as Harm backed away to vacate the doorway, "Why on earth wouldn't I come, after I'd said I would?" she asked.

Harm looked away, giving Jen the chance to look at him properly and, 'Yes, I can openly admire him too… just as long as he doesn't catch me!' with that thought she stifled a giggle and gave her host a visual once over. 'H'mm very, nice… white t-shirt, light blue cotton shirt and black pants, all clean and sharply pressed! Mm-mm!'

Realising with a start that Harm hadn't yet answered her question, Jen repeated it, "Why wouldn't I come when we had arranged that I would, Harm?"

"You… uh… you seemed pretty damned keen to get away from me yesterday," he mumbled uncertainly.

"Oh…" Jen felt her cheeks getting warm, "That… uh… that had… umm… nothing to do with you, or me not wanting to be in your company… but, it was a bit personal…"

"New boyfriend, Jen?" Harm asked with a smile that Jen thought still held a good deal of sadness.

"No!" Jen snapped, "It's nothing like that!"

"Then what was it?" Harm persisted.

Jen's shoulders slumped and she sent him a long-suffering look, as she said, "Damn' lawyers! You're not going to give up on this are you?"

Harm saw that Jen was desperately trying to evade the question, and for the first time in over a year, his inner devil leaped to life, "No… probably not," he drawled lazily, as he dropped into an armchair.

"Ohhh! Alright then," Jen huffed, turning scarlet as she spoke, "if you really must know… I didn't think to send my… my… panties to the laundry with my uniform, and I was so tired that I forgot about washing them by hand! And they were so uncomfortable and hot that I couldn't wait to get them off! Satisfied?!"

Harm looked at her in amazement. 'Right, I've always known Jen could be outspoken – it got her into hot water enough times with Chegwidden. But does she really know what she's just said and how it could sound?' and as he figured it out for himself, Harm couldn't resist a chuckle and a meaningful glance at Jen.

From the look of horror on her face and the way her cheeks reddened even further when she intercepted Harm's glance, it was apparent that Jen had caught her unmeant double-entendre, and even worse, from her point of view and betrayed by his chuckle, so had Harm!

Jen pressed her hands to her flaming face and mumbled, "Oh, God… Harm… I…" and then hearing his chuckle, a deep chested almost strained sound, as if somewhere along the way he had forgotten how to laugh, Jen felt her irritation fade. If making a fool of herself was a way to get Harmon Rabb to laugh, then she was happy to play the court jester!

Jen shook her head and fanned her cheeks with her hands, "Did you just handle me into saying that?" she demanded with a glint of amusement in her eyes.

"No… no, you managed to do that all by your own self!" Harm refuted the implicit accusation, the vestiges of his amusement still audible in his voice.

Jen shook her head in resignation but was saved from answering by a rap at the door and a voice calling out, "Room Service!"

Jen dropped into the other armchair and continued fanning herself with her hands while the waiter wheeled in his trolley and transferred the dishes to the table. Once again Harm slipped him a tip and with a cheerful "Thank you, sir!" the waiter left them to their breakfast.

Once again Harm drew Jen's chair for her, slipping back under her as she sat, and then took his own seat. Jen eyed the table curiously, there were two small cloches which she assumed after yesterday covered the toast and marmalade, but only the one large, very large cloche in the centre of the table.

Harm removed the cloche with a flourish and Jen cautiously inspected the dish, "Wha… what is it?" she asked at length.

"Gaffer's Pie!" Harm responded.

"What?" Jen demanded.

"Gaffer's Pie – or at least that's what they call it in the UK." Harm said cutting into the bulging half-moon-shaped offering. "Over here, we civilised people generally refer to it as a Farmer's Omelette! It's just a big old omelette filled with re-heated left over vegetables."

Jen made a moue of distaste and Harm grinned, "Go ahead, try it! If you don't like it, I'll 'phone down for a Danish or a half-dozen doughnuts for you!"

Jen glared at him as she read his tease and then took a cautious forkful from the portion of the omelette that Harm had placed on her plate, and after a few seconds, her face cleared and she looked across the table at him, swallowed and said, "Hey, that's surprisingly good! Nothing at all what I'd expected from your description!" Her smile had a hint of mischief in it when she added, "Mind you, it would benefit from the inclusion of some protein!"

Harm threw up his hands in mock surrender, "The original style omelette does include bacon and sausage patties, but I asked the chef for a vegetarian version. You don't mind, do you?" he added anxiously.

"Of course not!" Jen smiled, after all those months with you and … with you and Mattie," she carried on determinedly, "I'm kinda used to your quirks… In fact, I quite often eat vegetarian myself now. Not all the time, though!" she pointed her fork at Harm to emphasise her point.

"Good to hear," Harm said and bent his attention back towards his plate.

The rest of breakfast was consumed without either of them touching on a sensitive matter, and ended with the pair leaning back in their chair and finishing the last of the coffee.

"Have you any place you particularly want to go today, Harm?" Jen asked as she replaced her coffee cup on its saucer.

"Would Charlottesvile be too far?" Harm asked.

"Not if you really want to go there… I suppose you want to check up on your 'plane. Will you still be able to fly it?"

"Oh yes, I'm only grounded as far as the Navy is concerned, I've still got my private pilot's licence. But no, she'll have to have a thorough overhaul before she can take to the air again, so, no, no flying today, or for a good while yet. Seeing as you mentioned her first, I thought I'd pay a visit to Mattie. That's another thing I haven't been able to do yet!"

Jen's eyes flew wide open and she stared worriedly across the table at Harm The guilt and self-loathing in his voice was as clear as if it had been rung by a carillon of bells.

"If that's what you want, Harm, then Charlottesville it is. And if it is Charlottesville then we had best get going!"

"Do you know where we need to be?" Harm asked, as he started to square away the breakfast clutter.

Jen stood still for a second and then said quietly, "Yes, I know. I know exactly where we need to be." She paused wondering whether or not to go on, but then gave a mental shrug; he would have to be told sooner or later. "I go to see her once a month." She said in the same tone of voice, and then quickly looked away so that Harm wouldn't see the tears in her eyes.

Then his strong, gentle hand cupped her chin and raised her face to look into his. She saw again the pain in his eyes and in his expression as he said softly, "Thank you Jen, thank you for that."

Jen could only nod dumbly.

**1132 hrs EDT  
Sunday, May 29 2011  
Riverview Cemetery  
Charlottesville, VA**

Harm had had plenty of time to study Jen as they drove South to Fredericksburg on the I-95. She had chosen a white, square-tailed blouse which she wore loose, hanging over the plain blue denim skirt, which revealed her legs from the knees down, when she was standing or walking, but had ridden up as she drove, leaving her nylon free legs bare to his view. Her hair, which Harm considered, along with her eyes, to be her best feature, was bound back by a simple, blue, elasticated band which kept it out her face but allowed it to flow freely down her back.

Although she kept her eyes on the road, Jen was very well aware of Harm's scrutiny, 'I hope he likes what he's looking at,' she thought, and taking advantage of a stop sign she threw him a quick glance and felt a warm glow in the pit of her stomach when she thought she saw a smile of approval on his face.

Harm not only approved of Jen's appearance but was also been impressed with her handling of the Impreza, while not a muscle car by his understanding of the term, it was a definite step up in terms of power from the battered Ford that she had driven for the three or so years he had known her prior to his departure to the UK. She handled the stick-shift smoothly, her gear changes barely registering and seemed much more relaxed behind the wheel than he remembered ever having been before.

Jen laughed when Harm mentioned that she seemed less tense behind the wheel than he remembered her, "Oh that was that damned old Ford," she chuckled, "Every time I drove it I was literally on the edge of my seat waiting for the damned thing to break down! As it did from time to time!" She sent a sly glance in his direction, "Have you forgotten the night I had to call you to come and rescue Mattie and me on our way back from her dad's?"

"No… I hadn't forgotten," Harm said sombrely, 'How could I ever forget… if I hadn't encouraged Mattie to go back to her father, she might still be alive today…' but then aware that he was in danger of casting another damper on the day he managed a sickly grin and added, "I'm not likely to ever forget that night. That heap of junk you called a car chose the heaviest rain storm of the year in which to throw in the towel!"

"Yeah," Jen chuckled with a sly grin in Harm's direction, "but with that much water around, a towel was just what was needed!"

Harm groaned audibly at Jen's pun, and was rewarded by another flashing grin. Harm shook his head in mock sorrow, but happy that she had once again lifted the mood when it threatened to become morbid, he asked, "So… what is it that makes you so confident about driving this car?"

Jen was silent for a few moments as she slipped into the outside lane and accelerated past an eighteen wheeler big rig.

"Well, for a start it's all-wheel drive, then again it's a flat four, two point five litre double turbo-charged engine – that's about one hundred and fifty supercharged cubic inches, so it delivers plenty of power! Well, enough for me, without me being scared of the beast! And the best thing of all is that it's reliable. It got so with that Ford that I didn't trust it to get me from DC to to Falls Church, in the end! I was glad to see the back of it!"

Harm nodded his appreciation if Jen's grasp of her car's specifications. "You did your homework before you bought it!" he said approvingly.

"Hey! Don't start patronising me, Mister Hot-Shot!" Jen said, but with a smile to rob her words of any malice. "All it took was for me to read a couple of motoring magazines!"

But that conversation had been about an hour and a half ago before they left the I-95, and the conversation since then had been light and confined to non-controversial and non-specific topics.. Now, as Jen swung the Impreza into a parking spot near the cemetery gates they both fell silent. Jen switched off the ignition and they both sat quietly for a couple of minutes before Harm spoke, "Well… shall we? Or are we just going to sit here all day?"

"Are you sure you can do this, Harm?" Jen asked in a quiet, concerned voice.

"No, Jen, I'm not sure I can do this. I am, however, sure that I've got to try."

"Ok, then. If you're ready, let's go!" Jen said, injecting as much encouragement as she could in her voice.

They climbed out of the car and Harm took a deep breath. "You say you come here, regularly?" Jen nodded. "Then you'd best lead the way…"

After a short pause while Harm consulted the map painted onto a board just inside th4 cemetery gates they set off side by side as they walked along the smooth asphalt single track road that curved through immaculately kept lawns, their silence only broken by Jen's occasional direction, "We take a left here, Harm…" Harm struck almost immediately by the difference between this civilian cemetery and the military ones to which he was more accustomed, here were no regimented rows of identical markers, each burial had its own marker of a design chosen by those left behind.

After some five minutes walking Jen halted, stopping Harm by the simple expedient of gently laying a hand on his forearm, "We're here, or almost… she's two rows up…" Jen pointed with her chin. "I can wait here for you if you'd like," she suggested.

"No… that's alright, Jen. There's nothing I need to say to Mattie that you can't hear." Visibly squaring his shoulders he walked, with Jen a step behind him between the graves of strangers until he came to a small, smooth, white marble marker. It was an unremarkable grave, nothing to indicate that it was the final resting place of the bright, brave and beautiful young girl who had taught him the importance of letting go, that it wasn't quite enough to love people, it was necessary to let people in behind his barriers, to let them know that he loved them

For a moment he stood, reading her name, "Mathilda Grace Johnson" followed by the date of her birth and the one date he would never forget, the date of her death. Dropping to one knee, he rested one hand on the neatly manicured turf that covered her and in a voice roughened by emotion he said, "Hi Squirt… It's been too long… but I've been stationed overseas. I guess that you know that. The damn Navy wouldn't delay my posting so I could see you laid to rest. They said you weren't family. Well we both know that's hokum, Mats; you may not be related to me by blood or marriage, but you sure as hell are by love. You will always be the daughter of my heart, Mattie Grace, and I hope you know that too. This is my first visit to you, Kiddo, but it won't be the last, and I want you to know that despite the fact I haven't been to see you before, there has never been a day when you haven't been in my thoughts as you always will be in my heart. There's one more thing Mattie… I don't know if I believe any more, and I definitely don't know whether or not there is an after-life, but if there is and you are there, please keep an eye out for Mac… and… and our baby girl, her name is Patricia Sarah, after my mom and hers. They left me too soon, and I don't know if there's anyone where you are that knows them… so… if you're with your mom, would you ask her to help you look after them… You know Mac, she'll never ask for help… so you'll have to force her to accept it, but you tell her that it's me that's asking you, and I'm pretty sure she'll let you. She'll never tell you that she needs help, she may not even say thank you, but she will be grateful, I know that. I will too. But just remember one thing Mattie Grace, even if she tears you a new one while you're trying to help her, Mac loves you too. And I will always love you."

Jen had hung back a little, wanting to give Harm a much privacy as she could, but she overheard enough of his words and the grief-filled tone in which he spoke for the tears to spring to her eyes, and as Harm rose to his feet, she closed the gap between them, and as she had done that Christmas Eve all those years ago, she raised on her toes and kissed him gently on the cheek. "Harmon Rabb, you're a good man!" she told him firmly.

Harm nodded, for the moment incapable of further word;, instead he slipped an arm around Jen's shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze in gratitude. Jen sighed and let her head drop forward to allow it to find a home in the hollow of his shoulder.

After long moments of stillness and silence, Harm coughed in order to clear his throat and in a voice still roughened by emotion, he asked, "This is block M, isn't it?"

Jen regretfully stepped back from the comfort of his arm, but kept a hand on his forearm as she did so, "Yes… I think so, why?"

Harm took out his wallet, and removed a well-worn slip of official-looking paper from its recesses, "Matilda Grace Johnson," he read, "Block M, Row 34, Grave Number 42. That's where we are, right?"

A puzzled Jen could only nod her head. "So…" Harm looked at the note again, "This row is two back from the road… so, Row 36, should be down almost at the roadside, right?"

"Yeah… I guess…" Jen agreed slowly.

"OK, so..." Harm turned and made his way to the roadside, where turning away from the direction from which they had approached he walked slowly long the road his head turned to the side and Jen could see his lips moving until he suddenly stopped walking, "Fifty-three! We're here Jen." He spoke heavily and made no effort to explain his actions, but when he stepped off the asphalt and stopped in front of another grave, Jen gasped with sudden realisation as she saw the Eagle, Globe and Anchor carved into the black Granite and the named carved below the Corps emblem, picked out in letters of gold, "Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Rabb USMC, July 25 1968 –January 29 2010" and then below that, "Semper Fi, Mac."

Harm stood with head bowed looking at the grave, and then said, "I am so sorry, Mac, so, so very sorry. I didn't want this to happen, but you were so determined, just a stubborn Jarhead right to the last, weren't you? But you were my Jarhead, my Marine, and I should have said 'no'. Yes… I know that we wouldn't have had Patricia… but you would still have been here, we would still have had each other… and I'm sorry that I didn't have the strength to keep you with me. Now listen up Marine, Mattie's somewhere up there, and I know she's got her mom with her, but she'll still need an occasional kick on the six to keep her flying right. That's your job Mac, you look after both my little girls, please?" He gulped one more time then took a pace back, bracing into the position of attention, "I love you Mac; Semper Fi!"

Then he turned to face Jen and she saw to his surprise that his eyes were dry and that he even managed a faint smile, "Thank you, Jen. We can go now if you're ready…"

"Yes… yes… I'm ready." 'Oh God, I'm more than ready! How the hell do you do it Harm. Damn it, I was nearly in tears just now. How the hell can you lock your emotions away like that!'

The walk back to the car was completed in silence, each of them busy with their thoughts, and the silence was maintained until Jen manoeuvred the Impreza out of the parking lot and turned it back towards the north.

"Harm, if you don't mind me asking… How did Mac end up here?"

"That was my doing, Jen. I had her and the baby shipped back here... Patricia Sarah is buried with her, but they wouldn't let me put her name on the stone. She wasn't still-born, you see, they said she was a spontaneous abortion... not a person." Harm swallowed convulsively and Jen saw his fists clench on his thighs as he spoke. He took a deep breath before he continued, "I didn't want to abandon them in a foreign country... and Mattie was here, and I wanted all my girls to be near each other... It was... more fitting somehow, and maybe... if there is any sort of life after death, then I kinda figured that if they're buried near each other it'll make it easier to for them to find each other... up there..." he instinctively looked up as he finished, and then grimaced in a self-deprecating manner, "Pretty dumb line of thought, huh? Especially as I don't know if I believe in any of it anymore..."

"No..." Jen replied thoughtfully, "No, it's not dumb... It's sweet, and... caring... but again, if you don't mind my asking, why were you apologising to Mac? It's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault that she… that she and the baby died…"

"That's where you're wrong, Jen…" Harm spoke in a voice that seemed overwhelmed by fatigue, and shooting a glance at her passenger Jen saw that he had his head back against the headrest and his eyes closed, and in a flash of insight she realised that the bags under his eyes weren't alcohol-related pouches, but signs of sleep deprivation, and that was why he was drinking: not to drown his sorrows, but to try and sleep. Resolving to shelve that conversation for a later occasion, Jen reverted to her original question.

"How am I wrong, Harm?" she asked as she down-shifted to pass a family sedan that was crawling up US-29, 'Probably heading for Walmart for the weekly shop!' she thought as the Impreza purred past them; mom, dad and it looked like three kids jammed into the back seat. Becoming aware that Harm still hadn't answered her question, she asked, "Well?"

"It was my fault, Jen, can we just leave it at that?"

"Nope… How was it your fault, why was it your fault?" Jen was careful to keep her tone non-accusatory.

Harm gave an exasperated growl, "Because if I wouldn't have gotten her pregnant, she wouldn't have died!"

"Uh… you don't know that, Harm…"

"Hah! It's a pretty fair bet!"

"And anyway," Jen continued as if he hadn't spoken, "You didn't force her to become pregnant, did you? In fact, I'll bet it was Mac who was determined to have a baby, wasn't it?" she added shrewdly.

Harm twisted in his seat to look at her, his eyes now flat and unfriendly, "Leave it Jen!" he warned, "We are not having this conversation!"

"Too late, Buster! We've started, so we might as well finish!"

Harm blinked, Jen's words had struck a chord deep in his memory, and then it came to him, "Mattie once said much the same thing one time, when she was pushing me to talk about Mac… we weren't having the best of times… just after I got Mattie as a ward… I didn't want to talk about my feelings for Mac, but she just wouldn't let go. She teach you that too?"

Jen shook her head, "No… you taught us both. We watched how you investigated cases, digging and probing until you finally came up with the right answer, with the truth… I'd seen already just how far you'd push to get to the truth… to do the right thing…"

"Yeah, well. I wasn't a good example – as you nearly found out to your cost, didn't you?"

"I don't know what you mean." Jen turned puzzled eyes to Harm for an instant, before she re-focussed them on the road.

"Didn't you ream out A J's six for being mean, unfair, unreasonable and pig-headed?"

Jen gasped in surprise and her cheeks reddened with remembered embarrassment, "How did you… Oh, the Colonel?"

Harm grinned, and to Jen's relief the chill had gone out of his voice, "Of course it was Mac. She overheard what you said, and from what she told me, she didn't know whether to intervene and save your six, or let you carry on with raking him up one side and down the other!" He paused briefly, "She wasn't too fond of the admiral herself at that time, so she was happy to let you rip him a new one!"

Jen chuckled, "I came so near to getting thrown in the brig that day!" Then her brow furrowed and she grinned again, "Nice try at evading the question, Counsellor, but it ain't working with this gal! Why was Mac's death your fault? You both wanted a baby; it was just so very sad that everything went so horribly wrong."

"No… once Mac's pregnancy went wrong, I couldn't do a single thing to prevent it… and that left me feeling so powerless… Almost everything in my life up to that point, I'd had some control over… but not this… I should have used that control to argue Mac out of getting pregnant… I should have… It would have saved her life…"

"Excuse me? Are we talking about you arguing Mac out of something she'd set her heart on? Remember this is Mac the stubborn Jarhead we're talking about here!"

"It would have been hard, I know, but I should have tried harder, but I did want a child too…"

"I know… I saw how you were with Mattie, and little A J, and Jimmy; I heard about how good you were with the Luke Pendry and then the Lewis case. Harm, someday you are going to be a father, and you'll be the best dad in the world, you'll see!"

Harm grinned mirthlessly, "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Jen. But it ain't going to happen. One: I'm a mess, and no woman in her right mind is going to look at me as husband material. Two: Even if I ever did re-marry, I won't put myself or her in the position that I put Mac!" Now, that subject is closed, if you please!"

Jen said nothing, but bowed her head momentarily in a gesture of acquiescence.

Jen allowed some twenty minutes or so to pass in silence, before she asked brightly, "Have you given any thought to lunch?"

"Huh…? No…. but now that you mention it, my stomach seems to think that's it's been a while since breakfast…"

"H'mm, what about Ed's Diner on the ninety five?" Jen asked, her tongue firmly in cheek.

Harm gave a shout of sardonic laughter, "You are joking, right?"

"I dunno… it's been a good while since I was last there… maybe things have improved…" Jen replied with a wicked glint in her eye.

"Jen… Ed's diner never changed from being the worst greasy spoon in Virginia or Maryland for all of the nine years I was in and around DC. What the hell makes you think it might have changed in the last five?"

Jen shrugged and chuckled, "Not sure… optimism, the law of averages?"

Harm shook his head, "Never go on a Vegas vacation, Jen!" he chuckled.

"Why not?"

"Because believing in optimism and the law of averages in a Vegas casino will lose you the shirt off your back as fast as lightning!"

"Speaking from experience, Harm?" Jen teased him.

"Nope, I come to that decision as the result of long observation of the stupidity of my fellow creatures! Jen, you should never underestimate the power of human stupidity!"

Jen laughed outright, "Cynic! So… if you don't want to go to Ed's Diner, there's a little family run place just off the I-ninety five about ten miles north of Fred'sburg. I'm not sure if it's open on a Sunday, but…"

Harm nodded, "Lay on MacDuff!"

**2148 hrs EDT  
Sunday, May 29 2011  
Female BOQ  
Walter Reed National Military Medical Centre (WRNMMC)  
Bethesda, MD**

Jen heaved a silent sigh of relief as she closed her room door behind her and sagged back against it. Today had been a hell of an emotional roller coaster, but had left her with more questions that it had supplied her with answers. There was no doubt in her mind that Harm was an emotional mess, and that what he needed was several sessions with a competent therapist, before he had his psych eval. In his current state he would probably be found unfit for further service, and in his own words would be left on the beach. Jen knew in her heart of hearts that if that should happen, if Harm was forced to retire under those circumstances, that it would finish him.

The afternoon had been pleasant, Jen had made an effort to steer clear of contentious subjects, figuring that Harm (and herself) had been subjected to enough emotional stress for the day. The diner she had suggested for lunch was open and lunch had been a culinary success, and once Harm had been assured by their waitress – the owner's middle daughter, it turned out – that all the chicken they used in the kitchen was free range and organically raised, he even ordered the same warm chicken salad that had been Jen's choice.

The afternoon had been spent in the air conditioned comfort of the Willard, where they had taken refuge from the Washington heat and humidity while they watched, without much interest the afternoon film provided free of charge by the hotel. Afterwards Jen couldn't even make an attempt at recounting the plot, which seemed to her highly improbable. All that she could remember was that it involved a huge snake which seemed endowed with super-human intelligence as it stalked and killed, one by one, bunch of explorers, or scientists or something in the depths of the Amazon jungles.

Jen had declined an offer of dinner, making the excuse that she needed to get home and ready her uniform for tomorrow. This was true enough, but she also had plans to further Harm's recovery. She only hoped that they wouldn't misfire.

Sitting on the side of the bed, she retrieved her cell 'phone from the depths of her shoulder bag and dialled a familiar number…

"Hi, Harriet, it's Jen, sorry to be calling so late…"


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

**0804hrs EDT  
Monday, May 30 2011  
Psychological Department  
WRNMMC  
Bethesda, MD**

The assembled staff of the psychological unit stood and came to attention as the door to the group meeting room opened to allow Colonel Matthew Vincent, USAF, to enter. As usual he looked mildly surprised at the display of military formality and with a vague gesture of his hand he waved everyone to sit down, "Relax, people, relax!"

With his balding head, surrounded by a fringe of longer than regulation-length greying hair, his permanent air of vagueness and his somewhat less than pristine uniform, it was easy – or it had been for Jen – initially at least – to see the Colonel as a bumbling fool. She had, however, been swiftly disabused of her opinion, and in the time she had spent under his guidance at Bethesda she had not only developed a keen respect for the sharpness of his analytical mind but also a deep affection for the older man.

Taking his seat in the circle of chairs – another of his idiosyncrasies, he hated the formal hierarchy imposed by a conference table – the Colonel cast a seemingly casual eye about the room. Casual he might appear, but not much was missed by that glance. "And where is Mister Patterson today?"

"Uh… he's unavoidably detained, Colonel, but he should be in by about ten-hundred hours," Captain McIntyre offered.

"Unavoidably detained, you say. H'mm and by whom or what?" Colonel Vincent asked mildly.

McIntyre shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "Uh… I'm not quite sure of the details, sir."

"Come, come, Mister McIntyre, you seem to know so much about our missing friend. Surely, your knowledge, as suggested by your comments anent his probable time of joining us, goes to greater extents than you are prepared to admit?"

McIntyre winced, was there no fooling the Old Man, ever? "I'll admit to that, sir. But I'd really rather not go into detail in open forum, sir."

Vincent regarded him with seemingly mild interest, "Very well, Mister McIntyre, see me after we dismiss."

"Yes, sir!"

"Now…" Vincent continued mildly, "once again, the new week brings us new cases. You'll need to review these files, and let me have your initial thoughts by close of work today – that's five o'clock this afternoon, boys and girls. That's plenty of time, so I won't be accepting any excuses. Now…" he delved into his briefcase and pulled out a stack of slim blue folders, "Captain Baker…, Lieutenant Carter… Lieutenant Edwards, Captain Middleton, Captain McIntyre, Lieutenant Philips, Lieutenant Ramirez, Captain Sifuentes..." as he called each name he handed out a file folder to be passed around the circle until it reached its destination.

Jen stretched put her hand to receive her folder and as everyone else had done she opened it to take a swift look through its contents, and felt a cold hand clench around her stomach, "Sir?"

"Yes, Miss Philips?"

"Sir, I'm sorry; I'll have to recuse myself from this case." The old legal term slipped unconsciously from her lips.

"Really?" The colonel's voice reflected only a mild interest, "Would you care to elucidate?"

"Yes, sir… I know the subject…"

"Very well, pass the file along to… Lieutenant Ramirez; Lieutenant hand your file to Lieutenant Philips, please. Thank you. Lieutenant Philips?"

"Sir?"

"Trot along to my office sometime this morning please. Any time will do… whenever you have five minutes to spare."

"Aye, aye, sir!" Jen responded crisply. A casually spoken invitation from Colonel Vincent it may have been, but the intent behind his words was obvious. He might as well have said, "My office – now!"

**1115hrs EDT  
Monday, May 30, 2011  
JAG Headquarters  
Navy Yard  
Washington DC**

Harm breathed a silent sigh of relief as he left the building that house the new JAG Corps Headquarters. His scheduled interview with Admiral Tucker hadn't taken place as planned, she had been called to the Pentagon, and so he had been seen by the Deputy JAG, Rear Admiral (Upper Half) Stiles Morris. The African-American officer had been much as Harm remembered him, a little greyer around the temples perhaps and a little thicker through the waist.

Morris greeted Harm with a degree of reserve but even so, offering his condolences on Sarah's death, showing real sorrow and Harm recalled that Mac had served several stints under Morris' command on the bench while he had been Chief Judge and had developed a friendly professional relationship with the senior officer. Then the Admiral had become all business. He had been formally pleasant; he hadn't even mentioned Harm firing that Heckler and Koch in his courtroom all those years ago, but nevertheless he had been pretty clear and firm about Harm's options. Firstly he could opt for immediate retirement with all the pension and benefit rights appropriate to his rank, or he could submit to a psychological evaluation and accept whatever conclusion and recommendations the Psychologists came up with. Morris paused before he made his next comment, "Rabb, no-one here thinks you're insane, just that you are having a hard time adjusting to losing the Colonel and your baby. Your first appointment at Bethesda is at fourteen hundred hours today. And starting from tomorrow you'll be working here under Rear Admiral Daniel Evans, he runs the International Law section, so that should play to one of your strengths." And then Morris had surprised Harm, "Oh, just one more thing Rabb, despite the circumstances it is good to see you again!"

**1137hrs EDT  
Monday, May 30 2011  
Psychology Department  
WRNMMC  
Bethesda, MD**

Jen straightened her peanut butters and made sure her Lab Coat was properly fastened before she took a deep breath and tapped on Colonel Vincent's door-frame, entering at his invitation. "Lieutenant Philips reporting as ordered, sir!"

Matthew Vincent shook his head, "Miss Philips, sometimes I despair of ever getting you people to act like human beings. Pray be seated…"

Jen did as she was bidden, wondering as she did so exactly what the Colonel had meant when he said 'you people', did he mean naval officers, all officers or just women? Whatever he'd meant she wasn't about to ask him, knowing full well that any reply from him would come in the shape of a question aimed at discovering her motive for asking her question.

Vincent waited until Jen was settled, and then with his elbows on his habitually cluttered desk's surface and his hands lightly clasped, he leaned forward slightly, "This subject that you say you know…" his eye fell to his notepad "how well do you know him?"

"I… first met him ten years ago, sir, and then a year later I was PCS'd to Falls Church, where I worked with him for over four years before he shipped out. I knew both him and the officer whom he married. She died, and their unborn baby with her… that's why he's been referred to us… he's having a hard time adjusting to that double loss."

"So yours was purely a working relationship?"

"Uh… no sir. For almost a year he had guardianship of a teenaged girl. She lived in the apartment next to his and she needed a companion to share the apartment with her. I needed a place to live, and she and I shared… we were almost like a family…"

"And your relationship with the subject…?" Vincent left the question hanging.

Jen bit her lip, she had known this question would be asked, "It was strictly platonic, sir. The subject was in a relationship with another officer whom I knew and respected, and besides, there was no other option, he was an officer and back then I was still enlisted."

"I see… Tell me, Miss Philips, how was the subject's relationship with his… ward?"

"A very close and loving one, sir. It hit him very hard when she went back to her natural father, and then when she died he was devastated…" Jen fought back her own tears and bit down hard in an effort not to sob as she continued, "… but he received orders and was shipped out to England before she was buried… The Navy wouldn't cut him any slack… she wasn't 'family'." Jen finished with a clear undertone of bitterness.

"I see," was Vincent's non-committal comment, "And now, Miss Philips, what is your relationship with the subject?"

"We have only just re-established some sort of contact, after an eighteen month hiatus, sir. So it is still platonic."

"So… you have renewed your acquaintance with the subject?"

"Yes, sir… we spent much of the weekend in each other's company."

Vincent looked keenly at the young woman sitting opposite, "I see…You are an attractive young woman, Miss Philips… do you feel that that the relationship might develop beyond the stage at which it now is?"

"I… I… don't know, sir… It…it might, I guess," a furiously blushing Jen stammered.

Vincent nodded, "So… how would you describe his psychological state now, compared to what it was when you were last in regular contact with him."

"Sir, with all due respect, I would rather not answer that question. My friendship with the subject could make any judgement I might come up with biased, and I don't want anything, especially anything I might say or do, to negatively impact his therapy.

"Oh, but I insist. Besides, you have already made a judgement in saying 'his therapy', what makes you so certain that the subject will receive any therapy from us? He might be so psychologically damaged as to be disqualified from further service."

Jen cast haunted eyes at her CO, "Sir… could I write my opinions down and seal them in an envelope, and then once whoever carries out the initial interview can report their findings to you, and you could then compare them to my impressions?"

"H'mm very well, Miss Philips… ah… as you Navy people seem so fond of saying… make it so!"

Jen smiled at Vincent's well-worn joke and replied, "Aye, aye, Sir!"

"Thank you, Miss Philips, that will be all."

Jen closed the office door behind her, leaving Matthew Vincent idly twirling a pencil between his fingers and a half-smile on his face. Yep, he might be getting a bit long in the tooth, but he could still teach these young pups a thing or two, and he could still recognise the signs of a woman in love…

**1521hrs EDT  
Monday, May 30 2011  
Psychology Department  
WRNMMC  
Bethesda, MD**

Jen had spent most of the afternoon so far hanging around the Psych Wing reception desk, wanting catch a sight of Harm before he left the building, and at last her patience bore fruit. His unmistakable figure in Summer Whites contrasting with the peanut butters of the medical and nursing staff made him an easy target to identify. As she approached near enough to make out his expression, her forehead creased in concern, he looked battered and drained and she hurried her steps towards him.

"Harm?" she said quietly as she halted in front of him and laid a hand on his forearm.

Harm stared at her with empty eyes for a second or two, and then the life seemed to return to them as he forced a half-grin, "Hello, Jen, I didn't expect to see you here!"

Jen looked puzzled, "Why not? It's where I work."

Again Harm looked as if he was unable to formulate a conscious thought, and then he shrugged, "Of course it is…Working for your doctorate right? I remember you telling me, now…"

Jen chuckled, although she's never felt less like laughing in her life, "You're looking a bit punch drunk, sir. And badly in need of a coffee! Why don't I walk you out, and we can stop in the commissary en route. The coffee there's not bad… it's not good either, but we've both had worse… Do you remember Tiner's attempts at coffee making?"

Harm relaxed as memories of happier days returned, "If you think Tiner's coffee was bad during your time at Falls Church, Jen, you should have tried it earlier in his career before he realised you had to put a filter in the machine!"

Jen looked at him in disbelief, "Surely he didn't…?"

"Oh, yes Jen! Surely he did!

The chuckles and smiles lasted them all the way to the commissary, where Jen, protesting that it was more than time she contributed, paid for the coffees, Harm having rejected outright her suggestion of a sandwich. Jen had then merely smiled and directed him to an empty table while she brought their drinks across from the server.

"So… who did you see, this afternoon?" Jen asked once they'd taken their first few sips from their coffee.

"Should you be asking me questions like that? Isn't there a conflict of interest somewhere in there?" Harm asked, his brow furrowed.

"There would be if I was to ask you about anything you said in the interview. But as it is, I'm just a concerned friend asking which doctor you saw." Jen replied with an easy smile.

"Would that be 'witch doctor' or 'which doctor'?" Harm asked with the hint of a grin.

Jen was about to make a flip remark when she caught the tell-tale that Harm wasn't entirely joking, so changing her answer she answered casually, "Oh… we leave the head-shrinking to the psychiatrists… so that would be 'which' doctor."

Harm nodded, "OK… it was an Air Force Colonel… a Colonel Vincent…"

Jen looked across the table in surprise, "The Old Man?"

"That's hardly respectful, Lieutenant," Harm sad severely, but Jen wasn't deceived by his tone as she caught the hint of laughter in his eye.

"That's Old Man in him being the CO," Jen protested with a smile, "Not as in being old in terms of years – besides, I kinda like older men!" she finished with a smile that Harm was to realise later was distinctly naughty.

But at the moment, he just grinned and shook his head, "Jennifer Coates, you are bad!" he mock-scolded her.

Jen's face clouded when he called her by her maiden name and Harm saw it. Instantly he was contrite, "Oh, Jen… I'm so sorry… it's just that I've always thought of you as Jennifer Coates, the impudent, insubordinate Petty Officer who turned her life around, and I guess I'm having a hard time adjusting to your new name and the bars on your collar…"

Jen heaved a theatrical sigh, this was just the opportunity for which she had been frantically searching, now if she could just harness his expressed contrition… "That's OK, sir; I guess you'll make it up to me somehow…"

"Of course I will, Jen! Anything…!"

"Um… dinner with me tonight, sir?" Jen asked.

"Of course, if you want… where and at what time – your choice?"

"How about I pick you up at the Willard, at say… eighteen thirty hours."

"Fine… I'll meet you in the lobby. What's the rig of the day?"

"Rig of the day…? Jen asked looking confused at Harm's use of a strange term.

"Oh, sorry… again!" he chuckled, "Uniform of the day, I mean. Too much time hanging out with the Royal Navy!" he added in explanation.

"Ah! Then that would be civilian casual, sir," Jen told him, bracing for his next question and his reaction her answer.

Harm nodded, "Alright, where are we going, or haven't you decided yet?"

Jen bit her bottom lip for a moment and then looked him straight in the eye, "To Bud and Harriet Roberts'' place." She stated firmly.

Harm's faced was a picture of consternation, and reluctance, "Oh… I don't know, Jen… I mean after what you said about Bud and Harriet and their reaction to me cutting them off…"

"Harm, I spoke to Harriet last night… she was so happy to hear you were back in town, she said she can't wait to see you again! She made me promise to bring you… or at least to ask you to come and see them… Harm, she misses you, so, so much…"

"Jen… I don't know…" Harm protested feebly.

"Harm, you said that you didn't know how to fix this… well, this is me trying to help you to fix this part of it!"

"And you really think I need your help?" Harm challenged her, an edge of belligerence beginning to show in his voice.

"Yes! I do really think you do need my help! You haven't exactly achieved stellar results on your own, have you?" Jen replied in a stern undertone.

Harm's face relaxed from its frown as he replied in crestfallen tones, "No… you're right… I haven't been very successful have I?"

"That's OK, my d… that's OK, Harm, you just lost your way for a little while, but just trust your Aunty Jen, and she'll guide you back on the right path through the woods!"

"OK, we'll give it a try, if you think it'll work."

"I'm sure it will, Harm. Trust me, I'm a doctor – well almost!" she finished with a giggle.

"H'mm… Jen, did you just handle me?"

Jen looked across the table at him, adopting an wholly innocent expression and with her eyes opened to their widest and shining with false sincerity, "Who sir? Me, sir? No sir!"

Harm grinned and as he'd done so often in past battles of words with her, he shook his head in resignation and declared, "I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Jen, you are bad!"

"Oh, Harm… you have no idea!" Jen chuckled.

"No… But I'm beginning to learn!" he said in reply

**1829hrs, EDT  
Monday, May 30 2011  
Lobby  
The Willard Hotel  
Washington DC**

Jen stepped through the door of the hotel, held open by an obliging bell-hop and quickly scanned the lobby. It was too early for the lobby to be really crowded and Jen once again had no problem in seeing Harm, especially as he had, unbeknownst to her, for the last ten minutes been looking up from the newspaper he was ostensibly reading every time the door opened, as he waited for her arrival, and as she entered the building he stood to greet her, with a welcoming and approving smile on his face. And she certainly merited his approval: Jen's hair was worn down, cascading down her back with the sides swept back and fastened together in back by a mock-tortoiseshell barrette forming them into a pony tail resting on the curtain of the rest of her hair as it hung in a shining veil down her back. She had chosen a shirt of deep crimson and a slightly flared, tan skirt, its hemline just above the knee and completed her ensemble with a brown leather shoulder bag and a pair of low heeled pumps equally suitable for driving, walking, or and Harm's heart leapt a little, maybe even dancing.

Jen in turn was equally appreciative of his appearance, Harm's deep blue shirt she knew would really bring out that colour in his eyes and his medium grey pants were crisply pressed. He had a lightweight tan jacket hung over his arm and his smile as he came forward to meet her almost approached the intensity of the best of his famed 'flyboy' efforts.

They stopped a couple of feet from each other until Harm stepped forward again and bending his head dropped a soft kiss on Jen's cheek, and if Harm's heart had leapt a little Jen's took off into low earth orbit. "You look wonderful, doctor!" he said with a teasing grin.

Jen blushed slightly, "Well you're not too shabby yourself, sailor, she grinned back at him, still feeling the burn of his lips on her skin.

Harm stood still grinning at her and admiring her until Jen, becoming a little uncomfortable at the picture they were presenting to a couple of openly curious bystanders, murmured, "If you're quite finished, sailor, shall we get going?"

"Of course! Harm agreed, "Whenever you're ready!"

"That would be right about now!" Jen said. Maybe a little too emphatically, but Harm just gave her another tighter-lipped version of his grin and extended his arm, "Well, then let's go!"

Jen smiled gratefully and linked her arm in his as they exited the hotel, the parking valet springing into action as soon as he'd seen them in the doorway, and in a matter of few seconds, brought the Impreza to a smooth stop in front of the hotel steps.

Harm held Jen's door for her and waited until she was seated before returning to the passenger side and easing his long frame into the seat.

Jen smiled across at him, "All buckled in?"

"Yep! " Harm drew a deep breath, "OK, let's do it!"

Jen eased the Subaru away from the kerb into the still light traffic stream and circled around the block to head south towards Fourteenth Street Bridge. "Where are we going?" Harm asked.

"Oh… Bud and Harriet moved from Rosslyn down into Alexandria when the twins arrived, they needed a bigger place," Jen explained.

"Uh-huh, so they've still got just the four?"

"Yes, just the four!" Jen repeated, the laughter lines crinkling the skin at the corners of her eyes and her dimple appearing in her right cheek, "Isn't that enough?"

"Well, I wasn't sure," Harm said light-heartedly, "But it sometimes seemed to the rest of us that Bud only had to look at Harriet with a gleam in his eye and wham! She was pregnant again!" Jen risked a brief sideways look at him. He sounded cheerful enough, but she was almost certain she'd picked up on an underlying hint of stress.

'Poor baby, he always hated acknowledging he was in the wrong, and he knows he's going to have to eat some humble pie tonight!' she said to herself, and unconsciously she reached out her hand a briefly squeezed his wrist, "It'll be OK Harm," she assured him, "Harriet loves you too much to let Bud kill you!"

Harm smiled gratefully, he hadn't realised he'd become so transparent and he quickly switched the subject back to the Roberts' children. "I never saw the twins, you know…" he mused out loud.

Jen grinned, "Nikki and Matthew? They're adorable!" For an instant she thought about telling him that Matthew was named after Mattie Grace, who had become the Roberts' most frequent baby sitter for A J and James, but decided that it would be inappropriate to raise that subject right now. Harm would need all his self-confidence to survive the coming evening as it was; he didn't need any extra stress.

"Adorable, hey?" Harm prompted her, disrupting her train of thought.

"M'mm… Nikki's the image of Harriet, and allowing for the difference in gender so is A J, but Jimmy and Matthew are definitely Roberts. As a small baby Matthew even looked a lot like Big Bud!"

"Ouch! Poor kid!" Harm joked, eliciting a giggle from Jen.

**1856hrs EDT  
Monday, May 30 2011  
The Roberts' Residence  
South Columbus Street  
Alexandria, VA**

Jen braked to a smooth halt in front of red-brick house, the front yard of which was enclosed by a traditional white picket fence and where rose beds lined the paved walk across the lawn to the front door.

"Are you ready, Harm?" Jen asked, a note of concern in her voice.

The grin he turned in her direction was a bit shaky but he managed to say, "Yeah, let's get this done!"

Jen gave him another reassuring smile, "Don't worry, Harriet won't eat you, just trust your Aunty Jen, remember?"

Harm shook his head, "Jen, while I thought of you as a sister, I never, ever once considered you as my aunt – you're way too young for that!"

"Flatterer!" Jen scolded him, but with her eyes dancing with laughter, but she was thinking 'Sister, hey? Well, Mister Rabb, you've got one hell of a wake-up call headed your way!"

Jen had hardly knocked on the door before it was opened and Harriet Roberts stood in front of them. Harm summoned another of his shaky grins and said quietly, "Hello Harriet…"

Harriet stared at him for a second and then burst into tears, throwing her arms around his neck and dragging his head down to where she could plaster kisses on both cheeks.

"Hey, hey… power down Harriet…" Harm said helplessly casting a silent and futile plea for help at Jen who was having a hard time controlling her laughter.

After what seemed an age Harriet released her vice like grip of Harm and stepped back, smiling through her tears, "Oh… sir… I'm so sorry… but I am just so happy to see you after all this time!"

"Harriet… how many times have I told you… and especially now since you're not active duty, call me Harm!"

"I'm sorry, si… Harm," Harriet giggled mopping her eyes and stepping back to allow Harm and Jen to enter the house, "I'll try to do better, I promise."

"It's not you that needs to try to do better, is it… sir?" Harm looked up at the voice to see Bud Roberts standing halfway down the stairs, his round face fixed in an expression of disapproval and almost of dislike.

Harriet threw him a disapproving look of her own and admonished him, "Bud, you promised that you wouldn't…"

"No, Harriet," Harm interrupted, "Bud has every right to call on me to answer for my neglect. I am sorry Bud, Harriet; I've been a very bad friend to you both… I… I lost my way for a while, but Jen has convinced me to try and find my way back." He drew a deep breath, "I know I must have hurt you both, and A J, and maybe even Jimmy, if he remembers me, and I don't how to fix that, but I'm willing to give it a try, if you'll give me a chance!"

Bud's face remained fixed in its stern mask and Harriet seeing his unchanging expression pleaded once more, "Bud…?"

Harm interrupted what Harriet might have been about to say, the Roberts certainly didn't need to argue about whether he was a welcome guest or not. "Bud, if I'm not welcome in your home, then I'm not welcome. I apologise once more, for my neglect of you and again for my intrusion this evening…"

"No… come on in, sir," Bud replied heavily, "If I ostracise you, then all I'm doing is acting out how you shut us out… Sir, I don't hate you, I never could, Harriet and I owe you far too much and we love you far too much for that… but… that doesn't mean what you did didn't hurt us or that I'm happy with you, or that I like what you've done."

Harm nodded, "That's understood, Bud. And thank you."

Bud nodded, his face relaxing slightly, "You'd best go through and sit down, sir… I'll join you in a minute. I just need to go and tuck the twins in." His face relaxed into a good humoured and proud smile, "It's my turn tonight!"

Harriet visibly relaxed as she shepherded Harm and Jen through into the lounge, directing them to share the couch while she sank into one of the armchairs.

"Whew! That was a bit touch and go!" She grinned.

Harm shook his head gravely, "Bud had the right of it, Harriet, I did treat you badly, and I had no right to expect that you would even talk to me ever again."

"Harm… I promise I won't mention this again if it makes you uncomfortable… you suffered an awful loss… I remember how bad I felt after we lost our Sarah…" her voice broke for an instant, but she made a brave recovery, "And I can't promise you that the ache will ever go away… but it does fade with time… and we were blessed with Jimmy and the twins, and that makes it a bit more bearable. I know how much you and the Colonel loved each other, but she wouldn't want you to going on the way you have been doing. If I'm out of line, just say so, but I believe that Mac would want you to carry on and have a full life…"

Harm felt his anger rise and for a moment he was tempted verbally flay the blonde sitting opposite, and then as her words, or more accurately the sense of her words sunk in he recalled that not only had she lost a baby, but that she'd also almost lost Bud, had had to endure hours of uncertainty while she waited for word of his survival on the operating table. Harm felt like kicking himself as hard as he could, he had shut Harriet out, not failing to remember that of all his friends, she was not only probably the most forgiving, but the one who came the nearest to sharing his loss.

With a mental curse at his own stupidity, Harm slid off the couch and dropped to his knees, and taking both Harriet's hands in his, he confessed, "Harriet, I'm a blind, unthinking, selfish, self-pitying idiot who deserves for you to kick his six clear from here to California. But… can you instead forgive that idiot for all the hurt and pain he's caused you?"

"Oh, Harm… you're already forgiven…" Harriet said, her voice once again on the verge of cracking.

Bud Roberts stood in the doorway a tray of drink in his hand as he observed the scene, 'Yeah, it's forgiven, but not forgotten, not yet Harmon Rabb', but then giving his head a shake he smiled and stepped forward, "I see it's your car tonight, Jen. Very… impressive!" he stood and waited for the groan that he knew would meet his pun, neither was he disappointed. After the fuss had died down he grinned, and continued, "So… a ginger ale for you? White wine for you Harriet and a beer apiece for me and the Capt… for myself and Harm." he finished with an apologetic look at Harm.

Harm took the beer and responded to Bud's silent toast, accepting it as a peace offering. Peace may not yet have broken out between the two men, but at least a cease-fire had been tacitly offered and accepted.

Harriet let about twenty minutes of inconsequential chat pass before she excused herself and disappeared into the kitchen from whence she reappeared about ten minutes later to summon her husband their guests to the table.

"I remembered most of your tastes," she told Harm with a smile, "so we have a vegetarian moussaka, salad and garlic bread. Jen you will take one small glass of wine with your dinner? Just for your stomach's sake?"

"Thank you Harriet, yes, I will… but just the one, mind!"

"And just the one wit will be, Jen, or I'll be taking your keys off you!" Bud warned, only half-joking.

"Yes, sir," Jen said obediently, bringing a chuckles from the other three as Harriet served out portions of the moussaka.

As the meal ended and second helpings of the moussaka were offered and declined, Harriet sat back in her chair and asked, "Harm… what is going to happen to you now you're back here stateside."

"Ask me that in another forty eight hours Harriet." He replied cryptically, and in answer to her inquiring look he explained, "That's when the Admiral should have the results of my psychological evaluation, and depending on that, whether or not I'll still have a career in the navy."

Seeing the blank looks on Bud and Harriet's faces, he glanced at Jen, "You haven't told them?"

Jen shook her head, "No it wasn't my place."

Harm nodded in appreciation for her reserve and then looked up again at his hosts, "Well, Admiral Tucker relieved of my command in London, and ordered me back to DC so I could undergo a psychological evaluation to discover whether I was still emotionally and or temperamentally fit for service. I saw Admiral Morris this morning, and he made it clear that no-one thinks I'm crazy, just running a little bit haywire." He grinned mirthlessly, "After all, A J used to complain that I was ruled by emotions…" he paused for a long moment, "I guess he was right."

"No, he wasn't right… I love A J Chegwidden, but he could never read you Harm, you were always a mystery to him!" Harriet responded, "Not like us girls, we could all read you like a book, isn't that right Jen?"

"Yeah," Jen grinned, "in large print too!"

"Hey!" Harm protested, "Just who are or were 'us girls'?"

"Oh… that would have been me, Judge Helferman…"

"So that's why I never got away with any crap in her court!" Harm interjected.

"Just so, Harriet agreed with a grin, "now let me see, Oh, yes… Congresswoman Latham, Carolyn Imes, Tracy Manetti, Sue Nestor… that forensics Commander… Terri Coulter, yes that's the name! And even poor Loren Singer had you pretty well summed up!"

"Ouch!" Harm groaned.

Yeah, there goes your reputation as international man of mystery!" Jen smiled at him.

"But there are a couple of names missing off that list…" Bud said frowning in an effort to remember… obviously there's Mac…" he jerked and glared at his wife as here shoe made a sharp contact with his leg, "And Commander Parker, and Renee…"

"Yeah, what about that?", Jen asked desperately trying to cover up Bud's blunder as Harm's face became closed… how come your girlfriends never really got you, Harm?"

"Oh, that's easy Jen!" Harriet contributed in covering up the indiscretion. "They all got too close to him and were dazzled by his smile!"

Harm had felt a pang as Bud had mentioned Mac and Jordi in the same breath, but he fought to restore a grin to his face, "That smile was vastly overrated, you two! It got me into more trouble than you could shake a stick at!"

"And it was all female trouble!" Harriet crowed, "Do you remember that Romanian Princess, Harm… you practically had to fight her off with a club!"

"Who said I fought?" Harm challenged her, with his most innocent expression plastered on his face.

"Harmon Rabb!" Harriet exclaimed in shock while Bud and Jen collapsed in laughter.

Harm waited until the laughter had died down, but while the good feeling it had generated was still visible on each face and then asked, "Bud said he was putting the twins to bed as we arrived, but where are A J and Jimmy?"

Bud and Harriet exchanged a meaning laden glance before Bud replied, "Well… A J's not quite as forgiving as Harriet, or even me. So we figured that this first meeting was going to be difficult enough without a surly pre-teen hanging around, and Jimmy… well… he just about follows A J's lead in everything. So… we packed them off for a sleepover…"

Harm shook his head, "Bud… you shouldn't do that. You don't have to feel that you need to get your kids out of the way just because I might be upset at their response to me. Hell, I deserve that they kick my six!"

"Yeah, you do!" Bud said uncompromisingly, "but I won't have them upsetting their mother by them being rude to a guest, especially to someone who is their Godfather – you hadn't forgotten that had you? No? Good! And before you say you won't come and visit with us anymore, I'll take the liberty of telling you that I don't let my kids decide who is and who isn't our friend!"

Harriet piped up, "This evening was an exception Harm. I can assure you that on any other occasion you'll find the boys here. In fact, I think you… and Jen… ought to come round on Sunday… we'll have a cook out, and Bud… you can invite some of the people from Falls Church…"

Bud nodded. "That's a darn good idea, sweetie! What do you say, Harm?"

Harm looked at Jen, "What do you think, will it be OK?"

"Of course it will be OK. We'll be there, Harriet." Jen declared stoutly.

"Yeah, OK… we'll be the…" Harm broke off as he out of the corner of his eye he saw Jen try to smother a yawn."

"Uh, Bud, Harriet… it's a school night for my driver, I think she needs to get me home and get home herself…"

"Oh of course!" Harriet said immediately while Bud glanced up at the clock.

"I should think so!" he agreed, "It's gone twenty three hundred!"

Jen and Harm didn't exactly scramble out of the house, Harriet wouldn't let them. Instead she gave each of them a kiss and a hug, reminding them of their promise to turn up on Sunday, "About thirteen hundred would be about right!"

Bud also gave Jen a hug and a kiss on the cheek but when he turned towards Harm, he just grinned and stuck his hand out. "I still don't like what you did, Harm… but I guess I can understand a little of why you did it, but even so… it is good to have you back!"

"Funny, you should say that!" harm exclaimed, "Admiral Morris said the same this morning!"

Bud and Harriet both laughed, as the same thought stuck them, "Looks like he's finally forgiven you for shooting that HK in his courtroom!"

Bud and Harriet stood on the porch watching as the tail-lights of Jen's car disappeared into the night. Bud gave his wife a squeeze, "Well sweetie, how do you think it went?"

Harriet looked up at him her eyes partly clouded, "He's still in a lot of pain, Bud… but I think he's going to get better very quickly. Well, he will if Jen has anything to say in the matter."

"Jen, why?" he queried, his eyebrows raised in astonishment.

Harriet sighed, after all these years Bud was still totally clueless about some matters. "Because, if Jen has her way it won't be too long in the future before there'll be wedding bells!"

"Harriett!" Bud was genuinely shocked.

"No, no matchmaking this time around, Bud. I've learned my lesson, but I heard her voice last night on the 'phone, and now they're already acting like a couple," she sighed happily.

"What do you mean?" asked a puzzled Bud.

"Oh… Bud Roberts! Didn't you hear? When we invited them to the cookout for next weekend, he checked with Jen to see if it fitted in with any plans they'd made, before he accepted for them both. Isn't that exactly what we'd do?"

"Yeah… I guess… but that doesn't necessarily mean…"

"Oh Bud Roberts!" Harriet complained again. "Just trust me on this!" and then another thought occurred to her and the next look she sent her spouse was almost indecently suggestive. "Bud…" she slowly in a throaty voice, "Do I have to remind you that the boys are away for tonight… all night…"

"No," said Bud, "I know they are…"

"Oh for God's sake Bud Roberts!" Harriet laughed, "Just shut up and take me to bed!"


	5. Chapter 5

**5**

**1130hrs EDT  
Wednesday June 1 2011  
Captain Harmon Rabb's Office  
JAG Headquarters  
The Navy Yard  
Washington DC**

Harm tore open the envelope marked with the new WRNMMC logo on its flap and unfolded the single sheet of paper it contained. He read it through once, and grunted as if he'd received a body blow, not so much because of its contents but the short line of type below the signature of M E Vincent, Col, USAF, "Copy to VADM A S Tucker, JAG, USN"

Still the news could have been worse, he wasn't about to be fired from the Navy, but he was required to attend a thrice weekly therapy session, each Monday Wednesday and Friday for the next six weeks, starting next Monday, and after that he would be required to undergo a second evaluation.

He reached for the 'phone to tell someone the good news, but then realised that the only person he had with whom he could share news like this was Jen, and he didn't want to put her in a position where she might be conflicted. After all, it was the same old thing, 'even the appearance of impropriety…'

Dammit! Why was he so keen to stay in the Navy, when for most of his life the navy regulations had played a huge role in fucking up that same life! He slammed the 'phone down and glowered at it.

So… best not to tell Jen on the 'phone. He'd wait until this evening and speak with her face to face.

**1930hrs EDT  
Friday June 3 2011  
Room 1132  
The Willard Hotel  
Washington DC**

Harm sat back in the armchair, glowering once again at the telephone. Jen was late. She was supposed to have been here … he checked his watch… thirty minutes ago. At least when she'd had to cancel on Wednesday and Thursday, she'd 'phoned well ahead. She'd just gotten the draft of her dissertation back and from what she carefully hadn't said, but he heard in her crestfallen tone, it need some pretty extensive re-work, and she'd needed to get in a couple of evening burning the midnight oil. He hadn't liked it… but at the same time he admired her dedication. Jennifer Philips had come a long, long way from the petulant and insubordinate Petty Officer Third Class he'd defended on charges of UA and Evading Arrest.

His brooding was ended by a sharp double-tap on his door he looked up, a frown still creasing his brows, "Enter!"

The door opened and a slightly breathless Jen stood framed in the doorway, she grinned in a sort embarrassed fashion and said, "Oh, Harm… I'm so sorry I'm late…"

Harm stood, his frown smoothed away by a smile of pure pleasure, "It's OK, Jen, you made it… "

"Yeah, well I'm such a dumb-ass…!"

"No, no you're not," he disagreed as he took both her hands in his and drew her into the light of the room, "You are…" and he broke off, stunned for a moment by her appearance, "magnificent!" he gulped

Jen blushed and her face lit up in a pleased grin, "Gee, ya think?" she demanded

"Oh, I do, I do indeed!" Harm murmured.

"Well… it's not every night that I get invited out to dine and dance with a handsome, dashing Navy Captain!" she teased gently.

Jen was a naturally beautiful woman and that she seemed totally ignorant of that basic fact only added to a beauty that was enhanced by her sense of style. Even in baggy sweats and an over-sized t-shirt there was much about her that drew male – and some female – eyes, but tonight, her appearance was far from that dowdy image.

She wore a simple black, knee length, sheath dress with a moderately low, square neckline and spaghetti straps that left her shoulders bare except for the wrap of black silk lace, currently draped across her elbows. She wore a single strand of some red stones – Garnets, probably, Harm thought – around her neck with matching drop earrings. Her hair, which she usually wore loose when off duty, was gathered into a twist at the crown of her head with one thick tress allowed to fall to one side and gently caress her shoulder and collar bone as she moved her head.

Harm had no idea how long he had stood there gawping at her, but it seemed that Jen not only didn't mind, but welcomed his attention. She smiled up at him, "Captain, Oh my Captain?"

Harm shook his head to clear it, "Uh… yes, Jen?"

"I could stand here all night watching you watching me, but… I skipped lunch to leave room for dinner… and I was just wondering what time our reservation was for?"

Almost as if the mere mention of food had started her gastric juices working, Jen's stomach gave a gentle growl, as if to rebuke Harm for delaying dinner.

Jen blushed and then chuckled, as Harm's grin grew even broader. Letting go of her hands, he slipped into his suit jacket, and offered Jen his arm. "Shall we?" he asked.

"We most certainly, shall!" Jen replied placing her arm through his and smiling up at him with twinkling eyes.

**0030hrs EDT  
Saturday June 4 2011  
L'Ortolan Restaurant  
Washington DC**

Dinner had been superb… five courses, all cooked to perfection and exquisitely presented. The staff had been attentive, but not overly so and they hadn't had to wait too long between courses. The end result was that Harm had been able to lead Jen onto the dance floor by twenty two thirty hours where they had remained, in a loose embrace dancing to the strains of Harm's favourite soft jazz. The embrace had imperceptibly become closer as the danced, and now Jen had her head tucked under Harm's chin and her hands placed on his shoulders, while his own hands held her lightly at her waist the lower edges of his palms resting on just the very top of the swell of her hips as they moved together to the slow rhythm of the music.

Neither of them spoke much, Jen quite content to feel the soft thump-thump of Harm's heart, while Harm lost himself in the fresh, light perfume of Jen's hair. An "Are you OK, Jen" nearly an hour ago had been answered by a murmured "M'mm" and since then there had been silence.

Now the band leader's voice announcing the last number broke the spell, and Jen sighed lifting her head to gaze up into Harm's face.

"Ready to go home?" he asked softly.

Jen nodded and then closed her eyes, letting her head sink back onto Harm's chest, provoking a deep-chested chuckle from him and raising her face to his again Jen asked, with a puzzled frown, "Did I just say something dumb?"

"Yeah… you did… a little bit," Harm smiled.

"Like what?" Jen asked.

"Oh… well I asked if you were ready to go home, you sort of said yes, and then went back to whatever dream you were having!"

"Oh… you do not want to know about my dreams!" Jen chuckled.

"I might, you know," Harm said.

"No… I don't think so… oh…" Jen finished her sentence in a gasp of disappointment as the music faded away into silence. Regretfully she stepped free of Harm's grasp and smiled, "It's been a fantastic evening… but I guess we should go now?"

Harm nodded in agreement, and slipping his arm around her waist he guided her to the cloakroom where she retrieved her purse and wrap. After tipping the cloakroom attendant, he rummaged in his pocket and found the parking counterfoil, and passed it, together with another tip to the waiting parking valet.

**1215hrs EDT  
Sunday June 5 2011  
Room 1132  
The Willard Hotel  
Washington DC**

Harm was ready and waiting for the knock on the door, and opened it with a grin, "Hi Jen!"

Jen grinned back and stepped into the room to be taken by surprise as Harm wrapped his arms around her, and gave her a squeeze.

"Wow!" she puffed as she lay back against the circle of his arms. "What was that for!"

"That's for not seeing you since yesterday!" He chided her, "and for barely being able to exchange more than a 'hello' on the 'phone earlier!"

"Oh, Harm! I am so sorry… but when my dissertation got back to me! There was just so much work I needed to do, I'm going to have to re-write the whole abstract and the rationale! I can't believe I screwed those up so badly! And," she continued as Harm regretfully let his hands slip down to her waist, "unlike civilian post-grads, we work to a deadline and there are no extensions! Besides, I really want to get this put away this year and get my diploma to hang on my office wall!"

Harm nodded as he turned to pick up his lightweight jacket, "You'll do it, Jen, it'll be Doctor Philips before you know it!"

"Oh I hope so!" Jen declared, and continued silently in her head, 'but I just wish it could be Doctor Rabb, instead!'

"Right then," Harm asked as he turned, the jacket thrown over his shoulder and held in place by a carelessly crooked finger in its collar, "Are we ready?"

"Ready, aye, ready!" Jen grinned in reply.

**1254hrs EDT  
Sunday June 5 2011  
The Roberts' Residence  
South Columbus Street  
Alexandria, VA**

The sounds of country music and laughter drifting from the back-yard told Harm and Jen they weren't the first guests to arrive as they unloaded their contribution from the trunk of the Impreza, Harm grabbed the case of beer and then braced himself while Jen added the case of sodas to his burden and locked the car.

"All ready, Sherpa Rabb?" she grinned.

"Yes, memsahib!" he replied obediently as he followed her up the path to the porch, taking advantage of the moment as he did so to admire the swell and moment of her jeans encased six. Shaking his head again he castigated himself silently, 'For God's sake Rabb! Grow up! You are forty-eight years old. You are not supposed to be leering at the butt of every pretty girl you pass in the street! And it's hardly decent! Mac is barely cold in her grave and here you are acting like a hormonally charged teenager!'

The little voice in his head carefully refrained from mentioning that Jen was not 'every girl', that she was not even, strictly speaking, 'a girl' but a mature, attractive, beautiful and desirable woman, and that it was nearly eighteen months since he had lost Mac.

Getting no answer at the door, Jen turned with an apologetic smile and led Harm around the side of the house to the back yard. Although not crowded, there were certainly enough people there to allow Harm to shrink back into a corner and not be detected if that was what he wanted to do, and for a moment that was exactly how he felt, until Harriett spying the newcomers, hastily wiped her hands on her apron and cam to greet them.. She first took Jen into a quick hug and kissed her on the cheek, whispering "Well done… I was half afraid he'd chicken out!" before turning to Harm.

She eyed him with exasperation, "How am I supposed to give you hug when I can't get near you for beer!" she complained, she shook her head and laughed, "There's only one thing I can do! Lower altitude, sailor!"

Harm smiled although Harriet's use of a phrase Mattie had almost made her own brought a constricted feeling to his throat, and immediately bent his head forward enough so that Harriet could reach up and give him his welcoming kiss on the cheek.

Smiling at him as he straightened up Harriet indicated the barbecue with a jerk of her thumb, "Bud's already got the burgers on – veggie ones are for you! In the meantime…" she looked around, "A J Roberts!"

"Yes ma'am?" an eleven year old round faced miniature Bud Roberts turned at her shout, "A J, take these drinks from the Captain and stow them away in the ice box!"

"Aye, aye, ma'am!"

"Still got the habit of command there, Harriet!" Harm laughed as A J commandeered the services of Jimmy Roberts and each laden with a case of drinks disappeared into the house.

Harriet sighed happily, "Believe me sir… uh… Harm… with five kids in the house, it's the only way!"

"Five!" Harm shared a shocked look with Jen, "Is there something you've been keeping secret, Lieutenant?"

"Oh, Lord! Nobody's called me that for years!" Harriet chuckled, "No… no secret babies anywhere, there's A J, Jimmy, Nikki, Matthew and Bud!" she finished triumphantly, counting the names off on her fingers.

Jen and Harm burst out laughing as they looked across the yard at Bud, who hearing the laughter, looked up from his task saw them looking at him and responded with a grin and a wave of his spatula.

"You are going to be in so much trouble if he hears you say that!" Jen grinned.

"Oh, I can usually persuade him otherwise!" Harriet responded with a saucy wink , "Now if you'll excuse me…" she grinned again and then turned and walked across the yard, deliberately exaggerating the sway of her hips from side to side and looking back over her shoulder to make sure that they got the message.

Harm grinned, "And I always thought Harriet was so sweet and innocent!" he mock-complained.

Jen lifted an eyebrow at him, "Not her! She always was the earthy one! The stories I could tell you… Oops! Mustn't give away the secrets of the sisterhood, and anyway, even if she had been sweet and innocent at one time, after four kids…" Jen grinned up at the look of shock on Harms face and let her sentence fade away in a throaty chuckle.

Before he could think of a suitable reply he found a cold bottle of beer being thrust into his hand and a familiar face grinning at him, "Hello sir! It's good, really good to see you again!" and then with a quick hug and a kiss on her cheek, "Jen, how are you?"

"Pretty good, Jason, pretty good, thank you." Jen cocked an eye at Harm to see if he remembered the younger man, she need not have worried.

"Jason Tiner! Good to see you again after so long!" Harm responded offering his hand, which was taken in firm grip.

"Oh, I'm not the only survivor from Falls Church, sir!" Jason declared, you've just missed Gunny – I mean Lieutenant Galindez, he got a call-out and had to run!"

Gunny got a commission? Harm asked.

"Oh… no… My bad!" Jason Tiner stuttered, "He got out of working the CIA, and then he got married. His wife didn't like the idea of him being deployed again so when his hitch ran out, he joined the Fairfax PD, said he felt safer back in uniform."

"Gunny got married?" Harm said disbelievingly.

"He sure did!" Come on I'll introduce you to his wife, she's talking to Annette over there."

"Oh, is Annette here?" Jen asked with a smile, "Come on Harm, she's wonderful!"

Harm let himself be dragged to a bench seat occupied by two women, one a heavily pregnant Latina, whom Jason introduced as Elena Galindez and a petite auburn-haired and green-eyed young woman, whom Jason introduced proudly as, "…and this is my wife, Lieutenant Annette Walker, JAG Corps!"

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Captain," Annette said in soft but pronounced Texas drawl as she stood.

"Please, sit down… we're not on duty… so no ceremony. Just call me Harm, if I may call you Annette?"

"Certainly, suh… uh Harm," Annette said and went faintly pink at her slight faux-pas.

"Oh no!" Harm groaned theatrically, "Not another one!"

Annette looked puzzled, as did Jason while Jen burst out into a laugh. "Oh, I'm sorry, Annette, I don't mean to be rude… but it's taken Harm about ten years to get Harriet to call him by his name, and she reserved her commission about six months before the twins were born!"

"Talking of the twins, Jen, where are they?" Harm asked looking about.

Annette, happy and relieved that she was no longer the immediate focus of attention indicated with a jerk of her head, "There they are, in the sandbox, playing with Chuck!"

Harm followed the direction she'd indicated to see three children of about five or six years old engaged in trying to build a giant economy sized sandcastle. He had no need to ask which ones were the twins, their two fair heads were in contrast with the dark air of the smallest of the three.

"How old is he now?" Jen asked Annette.

"Just coming up to six years old," Annette said with a smile.

"I didn't hear of you being married before I left for the UK, Jason?" Harm asked.

"Uh… no… we… uh've… been married just under the six years," Jason replied with a smile at Annette who blushed.

"I understand, her Uncle Chuck, who gave her away had a white shotgun in his jeep!" Jen whispered into Harm's ear.

Jason and Annette both winced at the obviously old joke while Jen grinned impishly.

Harm, to his regret, didn't have much time to spend with the Tiners, before his attention was claimed by Alan Mattoni. "Harm, I've a special someone I'd liked you to meet!"

Harm turned at his voice to be confronted not only by Alan and Jacqui Mattoni but also by a slender African-American girl who said shyly, "Hello, Mister Harm…"

It took Harm a second to identify the young woman standing in front of him and then his face split in a huge smile, "Dar-Lin!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, it's me, Mister Harm." she paused and then in a barely audible voice she asked, "Permission to hug the Captain?"

"You don't need permission, Dar Lin, not ever!" Harm said emphatically as he held his arms open to her, she stepped into his embrace returning it with a fervent hug of her own.

Harm released her and quickly looked away lest she see the moisture in his eyes, "How are you doing these days, Dar-Lin?" he said gruffly.

The teenager hooked her arm through his, and gently led him away from the crowd, tactfully allowing him to regain his control, "I'm doing just fine, Mister Harm. I start college in the fall."

"I see, where are you going?"

"Duke," she replied and sensing a hesitation on his part, she added, "It's Daddy's old school, he did his pre-law and law there!"

"Are you going to be an attorney, then?"

"No… I want to be a forensic scientist, like Miss Terri…so I can try and find the answers and speak for the ones who can't speak for themselves any more."

Harm led her back to Alan and Jacqui, but she stayed with them only a moment or two before the blonde girl who had been playing in the sand box raced over and grabbing hold of one of Dar-Lin's hands with both of hers tugged the slim teenager to come and help her build a better sandcastle than the boys.

The rest of the afternoon passed in similar manner getting re-acquainted with old friends, and meeting new people, until about four o'clock Harm and Jen, who had stayed by his side most the day slumped onto the bench previously occupied by the Tiners and Elena Galindez. Elena had been feeling the heat and out of consideration for her condition Jason and Annette had taken her home.

"Whew!" Harm said with wry grin and pretended swiping of perspiration of his brow. "I never thought that a meet and greet could be so exhausting. Today has certainly cured me of any political ambition I might have had!."

"Oh… I don't know… You looked like you kinda enjoyed it parts," Jen replied as Harm took a long swallow from a bottle of cold water. As he did so, Jen felt a strong sense of relief. Despite the availability of beer and wine, Harm had limited himself to just three bottles the whole afternoon before switching to fruit juices and then to water.

Harm smiled down at her, and draped an arm along the back of the bench, a move which Jen took as an invitation to move closer, and one which she was quick o accept. Feeling her warmth next to his Harm smiled again, "Comfortable, there, Jen?"

"Umm… but you were saying you enjoyed parts of the afternoon…?"

"Uh… no… you said I enjoyed parts of the afternoon!" he gently corrected her, "But you were right, it was good to meet Tiner, and really wonderful to meet Dar-Lin after all these years."

Jen chuckled, "I liked the way she called you 'Mister Harm', it was so cute!"

Harm smiled again. "Yeah she always called me that… dunno why, but it was the same with Terri, Commander Coulter, she was always 'Miss Terri' and Jordi – you didn't know her – she was always 'Miss Jordi'. Yeah, Dar-Lin was always polite."

Harriet lifted her head from the task of clearing away some of the wreckage from the cook-out and smiled happily as she saw across the yard the scene that Harm and Jen presented, "Bud…" she called softly to her husband, "Come, see!"

**2007hrs EDT  
Sunday June 5 2011  
Hotel Lobby  
The Willard Hotel  
Washington, DC**

Jen sighed and put her empty coffee cup down, and then bending as she sat, she slipped her shoes back onto her feet before she stood, "I really, really must go now, Harm. It's been a really great day!"

"I really enjoyed it too Jen, and it's me that should be thanking you for saving me from another Sunday staring at these four walls," Harm replied, as he rose to his feet and picking up Jen's jacket held it open for her.

Jen turned allowing him to ease the sleeves over her arms, lifting her hair clear of the collar before she turned back to face him, cupping his face in her hands as she rose on her toes and kissed him gently but firmly square on the lips.

As she dropped back on to her heels, Harm stared at her in something like shock, "Jen… what…?" he gasped two fingers pressed against his mouth where he could still feel the pressure of her lips on his.

Jen took his other hand in both of hers, "Harm, you said the other day that you thought of me as a sister. Well, I've never thought of you as a brother!"

"Now… I'll leave you with that thought" Jen said, "and if you want to continue this conversation, then you know where to find me." Her face and eyes and voice then softened, as she almost whispered, "Goodnight, Harm… I really did enjoy today." Then she was gone.

Harm stood still for what seemed ages after the door had closed behind her and then he seemed to shake himself awake, like a dog emerging from water, as he gazed at the door through which she had disappeared and whispered, "Jen?"

**2255hrs EDT  
Sunday June 5 2011  
Female BOQ  
WRNMMC  
Bethesda, MD**

Jen stood under her shower, prolonging the experience in the hope that the shower would wash away both her disappointment and her anger at herself.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid, that's what I am!' she scolded herself; 'I just threw myself at him, and told him that I didn't think of him as a brother! I might as well have just stripped off and jumped his bones on the spot! Dear God! The look on his face! Oh well, you've screwed the pooch this time Coates! It was too, too, soon. He's still mourning Mac and the baby; he'll probably never speak to you again! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!'

Trying to pretend that her stinging eyes were the result of soap and water, Jen wrapped a towel around herself and drying off, she climbed into her PJ's and then into bed, where she laid her head on her pillow and miserably tried to get to sleep.

**0142hrs EDT  
Monday June 6 2011  
Room 1132  
The Willard Hotel  
Washington DC**

His jacket discarded Harm sat in the armchair, while he remembered and considered Jen's outburst. He idly regarded the nearly full glass of bourbon in his hand and then looked at his watch, nearly two hours ago since he'd poured the drink, now the ice was melted and the spirit was warming up to room temperature, and all in all he'd barely touched it. With a grimace of distaste he put the drink down on the coffee table and thought about how he was going to… what he was going to do… what was happening with Jen.

'Sure, Mac told me… years ago that she thought Jen had a crush on me. But like I said at the time, that was just gratitude because I was the first person in a long time that had shown that I cared about her, without wanting anything in return. Hell, Mac knew that, otherwise she'd have played hell with having Jen almost living in the same apartment. And yeah, I'm not blind, she is beautiful… she always was… but… the regs… and the fact that I'm almost old enough to be her father. Oh. My. God. Was that what she was hinting at the other day when she told me she liked older men! Oh, crap! That smile when she said it! How come I missed that! Harmon Rabb you got one hell of a problem just dumped in your lap!'

**1350hrs EDT  
Monday June 6 2011  
Psychological Department  
WRNMMC  
Bethesda, MD**

Jen almost jumped as the cell 'phone clipped to her belt started buzzing, despite the fact she had deliberately set the timer to alert her just at this time. It was coming on for fourteen hundred hours, time for Harm's appointment, and she wanted to be off the floor before he arrived.

He hadn't called since she'd practically fled the hotel on Sunday evening, 'Honestly, I was such a fool!' was the ultimate outcome of her reflections, 'What did I expect him to do? Rip my panties off and throw me on the bed?' but even as she castigated herself, the mental image her thoughts evoked caused her nipples to harden and a feeling of warmth invade her lower abdomen.

And if just thinking of him made her feel like that, then how could she ever look him in the eyes again after ambushing him the way she had. He hadn't reacted at all to her kiss, his lips had been gentle, and he'd not tried to push her away… but he hadn't reacted either..

Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself before saying lightly to Andy Kerr, who shared the office with her, "Andy, I think there was too much salt in the meat loaf in the commissary at lunch time; I'm going to get a soda, should I bring you one back?"

"Huh? Oh, no… no thanks, Jen, I'm good," Andy smiled vaguely at her and then returned to his text book and the notes he was making.

Andy Kerr wasn't left in peace for very many minutes, a knock on the door disturbed him soon after Jen had left, and with a frown he had called "Enter", only to spring to his feet as a Navy Captain in Summer Whites walked through the door and into the cramped office.

Andy braced to attention, "Sir!" he acknowledged the senior officer's presence, "At ease, Captain," Harm said, noting the other officer's Air Force uniform and Captain's bars. "I'm looking for Lieutenant Philips, Navy. This is her office, isn't it?"

"Yes, sir," Andy answered warily, unsure of how forthcoming he should be. Jen, any of them, were at perfect liberty to come and go within the bounds of the hospital at any time, but this guy wasn't medical and might not appreciate the degree of freedom that was allowed. He gulped, "She's stepped out of the office for a few minutes, sir. Would you care to wait?"

Harm shook his head and grimaced, "No… I have another appointment. I'll try to catch her later. Thank you, Captain."

It was about ten minutes later that Jen returned to the office to be greeted by a grin and a "Pretty long time to get a soda, Jen!"

"Yeah, well. What can I say?" Jen shrugged, "I just felt like drinking it downstairs instead of bringing it back up here!"

"Oh, OK. Oh… and by the way, Jen, you had a visitor while you were out, a Navy Captain."

"Oh?" Jen feigned disinterest, "Did he say what he wanted, or leave his name?"

Andy shook his head, "No, he just asked for you and when I told him you'd left the office, he said he'd try later."

**1523hrs EDT  
Monday June 6 2011  
Psychological Department  
WRNMMC  
Bethesda, MD**

Harm shook his head as he closed the door behind him. That had been a tough hour! Colonel Vincent had been merciless, forcing him to confront all sorts of demons, from his ambivalent attitude towards Mac – hell he didn't even know he had been ambivalent – to why he thought himself guilty over her death.

That of course, had led into Vincent questioning him, pressuring him into recounting all the reasons why it took Harm and Mac nine years to confess that they loved each other. And then at the end of the session Vincent had calmly asked if the proposal hadn't just been a reaction to the deadline imposed by Cresswell, and that neither of them really wanted marriage, that they were happier in the see-saw relationship that they had developed over the years.

For a moment Harm stood undecided whether to try and find Jen again or just go back to the hotel and crash out for an hour or so while he recovered before tackling the 'homework' Colonel Vincent had set him – to write down every major interaction he'd had with Mac, what he had felt at that time, and what he had done to reconcile his feelings and his actions. If the feeling brought on by superficial questioning, like this afternoon, then the deep introspection for which Vincent was asking threatened to bring on a maelstrom of feelings for which Harm definitely was not prepared to face.

No… he wasn't up to continuing 'that' conversation with Jen, just yet, so maybe it was just as well that he hadn't been able to find her earlier. Once he'd gotten his breath back – metaphorically speaking – he'd be in a better position to cope with any fall out from Saturday morning.

**1234hrs EDT  
Thursday June 9 2011  
Psychological Department  
WRNMMC  
Bethesda, MD**

Jen sighed in relief as Andy squared away his desk and picked up his cover, "I'm going for lunch, Jen. You coming?"

"Not today, Andy, thanks… I'm still wrestling with the abstract on my dissertation, I'll be glad of an hour's peace… Just me and my dissertation… better than a lover!" she grinned, all the while hearing her thoughts, 'Liar! Liar'

As soon as Andy was out of the door, Jen fished her cell 'phone out of her purse. She'd received so many calls from either the Willard or JAG HQ that she'd switched all call to voice-mail. And now had to check her 'phone at regular intervals to make sure she hadn't missed anything important.

As she checked through the list of voice-mails waiting for her attention she became uneasily aware that her own behaviour was mirroring that of Harm, and for which she had lashed out at him so savagely only last week! She was hiding from him, cutting herself off from him in much the same way as he had cut himself from his friends, but with much less reason than he had. The trouble was, she had now made such a big deal of refusing to face up the issues which she had raised, that she, just like Harm, again, didn't know how to fix the situation.

Jen bowed her head and buried her face in her hands, fighting back tears.' Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!'

**1337hrs EDT  
Friday June 10 2011  
Psychological Department  
WRNMMC  
Bethesda, MD**

Once again Jen's cell 'phone alerted her to Harm's imminent arrival in the department, but this time she had a real excuse to leave the floor. She had an appointment with her Gynaecologist that she couldn't risk missing. Of course, that the time she'd gotten the appointment just happened to clash with Harm's appointment with Colonel Vincent was entirely coincidental, and couldn't be helped.

And as had happened on Monday and Wednesday, scarcely had she left the office when Harm arrived in her office doorway, and once again Andy had been obliged to cover for Jen's absence. This time the tall Navy Captain hadn't been as pleasant as he had on the two previous occasions. On Wednesday Andy had mendaciously informed the visitor that Jen was with a patient, so it was with a sense of relief that he was able to truthfully say on this occasion that Jen had a medical appointment of her own to attend.

The curt, "Thank you!" that was the reply made Andy sit back and think. There was more to this than meets the eye. Jen always seemed to disappear just before this Captain showed up, almost as if she was avoiding him. It looked like to Andy that this guy was stalking her, maybe he'd better contact the Security Detachment. His hand reached for the 'phone but hovered over the instrument as doubts assailed him. He had seen Jen lose her temper on a couple of occasions, and he didn't relish the prospect of becoming a target for her anger. Maybe it would be better to talk to her first before he took any irredeemable action!

**1743hrs EDT  
Friday June 10 2011  
Parking Lot C (South)  
WRNMMC  
Bethesda, MD**

Jen stopped, her mouth opened in a show of disbelief. Today had been bad enough; all she wanted now was to get back to the BOQ get out of her peanut butters and into a hot shower and wash away the cares of the day. She had spent the entire morning trying to re-write the problematical section of her dissertation's rationale, and then she'd actually gone and booked a Gyno exam to avoid Harm. 'That was really something,' she told herself in disgust, 'What a coward! I actually preferred the humiliation and discomfort of having my private parts invaded rather than face Harmon Rabb'. Now, slightly sore, tired, disgusted at herself and dispirited and wanting to get home, she found that she couldn't. Some asshole had parked a damned great Chrysler Sebring squarely across the back of the Impreza, there was no way she could manoeuvre her car out of its designated spot. All she could do was wait until the driver of the Sebring returned, and then, by Christ, he or she was going to feel the sharp edge of her tongue! Or… she could phone the Security Detachment and have them come and tow the Sebring. It was after all, illegally parked. The decision made, she fumbled in her regulation purse for her cell 'phone, but before she could dial the number she was stopped by a a gently amused and very familiar voice from behind.

"Having a little trouble, Lieutenant?"

Jen spun around , the blood draining from her face, "Sir?" and to her further humiliation, her voice came out as a squeak as she saw Harm leaning nonchalantly against the Sebring's wing his arms folded and a look of displeasure on his face.

"Sir…" Jen cleared her throat and tried again, "Sir… is this your car?"

"Technically, no. It's a rental. But I if you mean did I park the car where it is, then, yes, I did!" Harm replied in level voice.

"But why…?" Jen began and then bit her lip in confusion as she realised she was on the verge of asking questions that she wasn't sure she wanted an answer to.

"Because I'm tired of getting your voice mail every time I try to call you. I'm tired of you being away from your office every time I call in. You and I, Lieutenant, have a serious conversation to finish. A conversation that you initiated and invited me to continue. Well, I'm here now and I intend to finish that conversation…"

"Sir… we can't not here… it's too… too public!"

"Well, maybe we can't finish the conversation here. But first I have two things to say to you. Firstly I need to make you an apology, and the second is this!" Harm stepped forward and reached his hand, and with a long finger he tilted Jen's face up towards his, and then keeping his eyes fixed on hers, as if asking her permission, he gently pressed his lips to hers in a soft, loving kiss.

Jen returned the kiss until the sense of their whereabouts re-asserted herself and breaking free she took a step back. "Sir… we can't… not here… our ranks… public displays….!"

"Firstly Lieutenant, since we have just, as you so rightly comment, indulged in a display of public affection, don't you think that we could at least call each other by our names?"

Jen blushed pink, "I guess so…" she faltered.

"Good!" Harm enthused, "because that makes this next bit a whole lot easier, Jennifer Coates, I owe you an apology for lying to you and to myself!"

"Harm?"

"Yeah, an apology, you see, despite what I said last week, I don't think I ever really thought of you as a sister!"

Jen gasped and then threw herself onto Harm's chest, knocking both their covers flying as she wound her arms around his neck and lip locked with him in a kiss that was full of wanting, desire and love.

When lack of air forced them apart, they became aware of the grinning crowd their embrace had drawn.

Harm looked a little stunned at the fervour of Jen's reaction. But his pilot's reactions kicked in, "Let's continue this someplace else!" he grinned broadly as he bent and rescued their covers. "On my six, Lieutenant!"

"Aye, aye, sir!" Jen replied with just as broad a grin as they both dived for their cars.

Seconds later the only evidence that Harm and Jen had ever been in that parking lot was the faint smell of burning rubber and the swiftly fading sound of their engines.

The End

Is there enough demand for a sequel?


End file.
